


Our Time

by shalian



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, Friendship, M/M, Memory Loss, Oral Sex, Post-Recall, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-04 14:14:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 41,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14022045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shalian/pseuds/shalian
Summary: McCree’s eyes widened just as Hanzo’s closed.Hanzo was kissing him.Whywas Hanzo kissing him?And did he just call him "Jesse"??





	1. Jesse's Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm new to AO3 and new to the Overwatch fandom. I've been playing Overwatch since the latter half of last year (2017) but NEVER got into the ships (or even KNEW about its existence) until recently and what a surprising and very pleasant experience it has been for me. I have written a handful of fanfics in the past, posted in Fanfiction.net under a different pen name, but they are all for my favorite animes and this is the first time I've ever written anything for a video game fandom.
> 
> Also, it's worth to note that this is also my VERY FIRST M/M fic. (If I suck at it, you have been warned!)
> 
> I have only ever written about hetero couples though I've been a HUGE fan of yaoi/slash/whatever-you-wish-to-call-it (who isnt?) and have read plenty of it from fanfics to manga/doujinshi to actual novels. I've been compelled to write an M/M fic for various fandoms in the past but never really got to actually doing it until now and it's only because of a certain cowboy and archer. So many ideas for stories have flooded into my mind ever since I discovered McHanzo (I AM OBSESSED WITH THEM) and so...this story was born. I have a lot more stories in mind (better than this one IMO) for this particular pairing. In fact, I'm already in the middle of writing up the second one but I'll hold off any plans on actually posting that on this site until I actually finish putting this one out up to its final chapter.
> 
> I've already finished writing this fic in its entirety and I only need to tweak a few things that I'm not completely satisfied with just yet and that's it. This will only be FIVE CHAPTERS long by the way. Normally, I write stories much longer than that but this is a test run of whether or not I can actually write competently enough for this fandom (and it being M/M no less) without embarrassing myself. LOL
> 
> That said, I do hope you enjoy!

_“Jesse?”_

…

_“Jesse McCree can you hear me?!”_

…

“Jesse, I swear to God if you’re…you’re…Jesse, please open your eyes!”

Jesse wasn’t sure just _how_ he did it considering he couldn’t even feel any part of his body at the moment, but open his eyes he did. He didn’t even feel his lids move, just that the darkness that had engulfed him moments earlier was slowly disappearing.

A pair of wide, worried eyes the color of chocolate was staring down at him and so close in front of him that it was all he could see. He was sure he could’ve seen the same person’s brows and even their nose too but for some reason, his vision was locked on their eyes. Only their eyes. His peripherals didn’t register anything else.

“Oh, thank God…” The relief was apparent in the other person’s voice. “Stay with me okay? Where does it hurt the most? C-Can you speak?”

Before he could even begin to consider the answers to all these questions, he felt his eyes beginning to feel heavy. Too heavy. He couldn’t keep them open any longer. He tried…really, he did, but he couldn’t.

Once again, his vision went black.

_“Jesse? Jesse!!”_

That was the last thing he heard. The same person’s worried cries as they repeated Jesse’s name over and over again until his hearing too, finally gave out.

* * *

* * *

* * *

The sun was bright. Even with his eyes closed, he could easily tell through the slight discomfort he felt behind his lids.

Grumbling incoherently, he finally decided to open his eyes only for his vision to be attacked with a lot of white.

He was in the medbay. Of course. How many days did this make? Four now? Four days of being cooped up inside the sterile confines of Angela’s precious prison and his personal hell. It wasn’t like he was ungrateful that he was taken special care of after getting injuries he didn’t even remember getting, but he was sick of it. And he felt like his condition would only worsen should he be forced to stay there any more than he already has.

As if on cue, he heard the metal _whoosh_ ing of the medbay’s doors and the soft clicking of heels.

Seconds later, the curtain that blocked him off within his corner from the rest of the room was pulled back, revealing the very person he had been itching to talk to.

“Angela!” he greeted brightly before sitting up quickly. Too quickly. He felt a painful throb somewhere at the back of his head as a result but he made sure his pain went unnoticed by keeping his face quite straight. “Good mornin’ to ya.”

Angela looked at him with raised brows and a knowing expression on her face.

“Good morning, Jesse. How are you feeling today?” she inquired in full doctor-mode.

“Same as usual, pretty darn good. Good enough to leave,” he replied, his tone hopeful.

“Jesse…” Her tone was warning.

“Oh c’mon Angel,” Jesse pleaded, deciding to use the old nickname to soften her up. He had given her that nickname back when they were younger, back when he was a 20-year-old upstart who had just joined Overwatch and was quick to flirt with just about anybody including the beautiful young doctor of the Medical Research Team. “I’m all better now and you know it.”

Angela shot him a glare and the frown on her face deepened.

“Four,” she said simply.

This confused him. “Four…days?”

“No,” Angela said with mild irritation. “Four _ribs_. You had four broken ribs which punctured one of your lungs _and_ your stomach, a fractured right tibia _and_ fibula, and you also had your prosthetic arm nearly completely torn off. And don’t even get me started on your head injury!”

Jesse opened his mouth but then closed it again. True enough, he’s never been injured this badly before. Although reckless with his actions most of the time, he was still quite careful when it came to keeping himself protected, especially ever since he lost his left arm in his earlier years in Overwatch. He couldn’t even imagine what must have happened that had caused him to get into the state that he was in now. Had he been ambushed? Was he rendered temporarily blind and he didn’t see the incoming danger? He didn’t have a clue and for the life of him, he couldn’t remember any of the events, before _or_ after, that led to this not-so-little accident. He had no memories of the mission at all. In fact, the timeline in his head didn’t add up to the mission…or any mission for that matter. He remembered coming to Gibraltar for the Recall then…that was it. His next memory was waking up in the medbay. He knew he had forgotten quite a bit if he didn’t even remember the moment he had been given his assignment that led to his current injury.

He let out a frustrated sigh before laying back down slowly. As usual when he tried to think too hard, the headaches surfaced in full force. According to Angela, when he had woken up once a week ago and she tried to talk to him about the mission that caused his injuries, he had ended up fainting from trying too hard to remember. Jesse couldn’t remember such a thing happening. He only remembered waking up for the first time from his injuries four days ago and that’s it.

Angela too, sighed though hers was less frustrated and more of surrender.

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Fine, you can leave the medbay,” she said and an indulgent smile escaped her lips when she saw the look of absolute delight on Jesse’s face. “Given of course you commit to my instructions.”

“I’ll do whatever you say. Cross my heart and hope to…well, you get the idea,” Jesse said with a grin.

Angela rolled her eyes at him but the smile on her face remained.

* * *

#### DAY 1

Jesse should’ve known.

Trying not to shake his head (it still hurt when he moved it too much) as he walked down the corridor that would take him to the common room, he couldn’t help but repeat Angela’s “instructions” in his mind. It wasn’t a lot but they were all too much.

“No missions, no training, no smoking, no stress, rest often. Do this for two months…sixty days. No missions…no training…no smoking…no stress…rest often…sixty days…sixty days…” he repeated these words over and over again that he was actually starting to get a headache.

Another sigh escaped his lips just as the doors to the common room slid open. The various rec rooms and the private quarters were connected with the common room and were only accessible through here so this was where everyone usually chose to spend their day when they weren’t training or out for missions.

As expected, there were a few who were there. Four, in fact, and all doing their own thing on the many couches, tables and chairs available.

“Jesse!!”

Jesse only had to blink and, in an instant, a young woman stood in front of her, a wide smile on her face before she engulfed him in a hug.

“The doc finally let you out!”

“Good to see you too, kid,” he said with a chuckle and hugged her back.

When they broke apart, Lena looked up at him with an almost sad smile before it was completely overtaken by a happier one that made Jesse think that his eyes must’ve just played a trick on him for a quick second.

“Kid, huh,” she repeated before pointing her thumb behind her. “You won’t be calling me that anymore.”

Jesse followed the direction of her finger and saw two people he didn’t recognize peeking over the back of the couch to look at him. One of them was a dark young man with dread locks, the other a much younger girl—a teenager? —with straight auburn hair and large brown eyes. Her cheeks were painted pink with whisker-like triangles.

“These are…?” he questioned Lena though his eyes were still on the pair as they tossed what looked like portable gaming consoles onto the nearest coffee table before making their way towards him. “Wait, I know you two.”

They looked at Jesse in surprise, then at each other, then at Lena, then at Reinhardt who was seated on one of the singular arm chairs close by (he took his eyes away from the book he was reading to look up at all of them when Jesse spoke—he was less surprised by Jesse’s appearance having visited him at the medbay the day previous), before turning to look at Jesse again.

“You’re both celebrities,” Jesse said with surprise when he finally realized the pair’s identities. “You’re that DJ from Brazil. I’ve seen your posters nearly every place I went to,” he told the young man before turning to the girl. “And you’re that actress…seen a couple’a movie posters of you and some for some kinda soda too.”

The two stared at Jesse for a while…until one of them busted out laughing.

“The name’s Lúcio Correia dos Santos,” the young man introduced with a hand forward to Jesse who accepted it with a shake. “This girl here is Hana Song.”

Next to him, Hana rolled her eyes and gave Jesse a little wave and a smile which didn’t completely reach her eyes. Inwardly he wondered if he had offended her. Then again, he wasn’t the type who knew how to get along with those much younger than him…especially not with teenage girls. He was a little out of his element where Hana was concerned.

“Overwatch newbies recruited by Winston,” Lena explained simply when Jesse met her eyes. His confusion must’ve shown on his face seeing as she answered her without so much as a word from him.

“Right,” he mumbled, quite amused by it all.

His last memory before he woke up (apparently fatally wounded) was of his first day in Gibraltar since answering Winston’s message about the Recall but Angela had told him that he had been asleep in the medbay, recuperating, for nearly a month. Twenty-five days, in fact. Add that to however many days he spent on the mission that got him injured in the first place plus the four days he spent there after waking up meant that he’s been out of the loop for around twenty-nine days total, give or take. More of less a full month.

That’s a long time and apparently enough time for the team to move forward enough to recruit more agents.

“Well, nice to meet’cha both,” he said with his usual smile. “Name’s McCree. Would’a come out earlier to say my hellos but apparently I’ve been out cold for a while.”

“It’s cool man,” said Lúcio with a nudge at Hana.

The girl had lost what little smile she had when Jesse pointed to his own head as he spoke.

He didn’t have any of his usual bandages around his torso and leg (not like anyone would be able to see it through his clothes if he did) and his prosthetic has since been fixed (and even upgraded) by Winston and reattached by Angela. The only thing that gave away that Jesse might have been incapacitated is the bandage around his head that kept the gauze on his wound in place. Angela had told him that she had to shave around the wound to properly treat it so he expected he might have a bald patch there for a while so he decided it was probably better to keep the bandage on until he can figure out how to best wear his hair.

“Yeah, it’s totally fine. No worries,” said Hana with a rather forced look of indifference before she turned around abruptly and made her way back to her spot on the couch but only after making a grab for her console. “I’m about to hit the next level, Lú!” she announced loudly without bothering to tear her eyes away from her game.

“Wait, what? Hold up!”

Jesse watched with mild amusement as Lúcio dashed back to his own console and settled back down next to Hana. He was immersed in the game not long after that.

“You’ll get used to it,” Lena said with brows raised. She too was looking over at the pair, particularly at Hana.

“Get used to what?”

“Hana. She’s young and… fickle. But she’s a good girl.”

“What happened to you? You’re talkin’ like an old woman.” This earned him a smack on the arm from Lena.

Although he was only teasing, Jesse was actually wondering if something really had happened. Though Lena was as kind as she usually was, she lost a bit of her peppiness somehow. He was used to her being more hyper…and loud. In fact, the same could be said about Reinhardt who had since refocused his attention on the book he was reading. Seeing him just sitting there, all quiet, was a little unnerving. If it was his usual self, he would’ve been the first to greet Jesse a “Welcome back!” after being hospitalized for so long, even if he had seen the man recently when he came to the medbay to visit.

Was it his fault? Did he do something during the mission perhaps? What was going on?

* * *

#### DAY 2

Jesse woke up early that morning… _too_ early. So early it was that there wasn’t even any morning sunlight filtering through the one window of his room.

He got up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes though really, he wanted nothing more than to go back to bed.

The bed.

Sitting on the edge of his cot, he gave a little bounce. He thought this the previous night when he tried to get to sleep (which took a lot of effort with him turning left and right until he finally passed out what felt like too many hours later); the mattress wasn’t comfy at all. If was soft enough, sure, but it felt too alien to him. Then again, he did spend weeks sleeping in the medbay and before that he’s only ever been on this bed just once or twice after the Recall, of course it would feel unfamiliar. And it wasn’t just the bed. His entire room felt off to him too.

He glanced over at where Peacekeeper was sitting. She was sitting on the shelf within reach of his bed and beside her was his old Stetson. His serape was carefully draped over the chair set in front of his computer desk over in the opposite corner. His belts hung from one of the hooks next to the bathroom door. His boots, neatly set aside on the little floor space by the main door. He didn’t check but his chaps and jeans were most likely neatly folded inside one of the drawers.

Whoever had put away his things were careful to make sure they were in order. Angela’s handiwork, he guessed. Jesse had never been the overly “neat” type. He couldn’t even remember the last time he properly set aside his shoes. Usually he just left them as they were after taking them off. What’s the point? He was going to wear them the very next day anyway. Although he often wore “regular” clothes (a shirt with sweats or joggers), he trained everyday and whenever he did he always made sure to wear his usual clothes that he wore on missions.

Jesse got off his bed and stretched his arms over his head. The sun was starting to rise now. How long had he been sitting there just thinking to himself?

He took one more look at the mattress behind him and then the rest of his room.

With a shake of his head, he headed to the bathroom. He needed a shower.

* * *

#### DAY 3

There was a _lot_ going on. So much so that Jesse was actually struggling to keep up with it all. There’s too much. Too much information. Too much _surprises._

No sooner after meeting Lúcio and Hana, Jesse had met three more people he didn’t recognize later that same day which came in the form of a climatologist and former Overwatch agent, Dr. Mei-Ling Zhou, a former Vishkar architect by the name of Satya Vaswani and an outdated omnic, a bastion unit by the name of…well, Bastion. They were nice enough, especially the doctor who had a very cheery disposition despite what she had gone through in Antarctica before coming to Gibraltar. Besides Mei, Jesse also liked the omnic, more so than he did the architect which was a little ironic considering Bastion couldn’t even form any real words in any language a normal human could understand. Satya wasn’t bad, just that she was the type he didn’t really work well with. Serious, practical, and liked to have control and order in most (if not all) aspects of their life as much as possible. Jesse embodied the very opposite of all those things (and more) so it was only natural for him to feel that they might not get along as well as he would have with others.

But it wasn’t Mei, Bastion or Satya that has gotten Jesse quite overwhelmed in the last few days, no. It wasn’t the new faces but rather the old. The old which he had thought _dead_.

It was one thing when he found out that Fareeha Amari, his little sister not by blood (but may as well be considering how close they’ve always been), had also joined Overwatch while he was out cold, but to learn that her mother and one of Jesse’s mentors was _alive_ and not only that but was also back in Overwatch…well, that’s when Jesse gave up trying to feel some sense of understanding over what was happening around him.

Add the also-just-as-alive former Strike-Commander, Jack Morrison who had apparently returned to Overwatch together with Ana to the mix and Jesse was all but forced to return to his private quarters after asking for a little time by himself so he can digest all the news that had just been thrown his way.

Yes, there was definitely a lot to take in.

To make matters worse? He has lost his favorite flannel. When he returned to his room the first day and didn’t find it in his closet or in any of his drawers, he figured it must be in the wash and that someone will come by with it eventually. But two days had passed and still no sight of the slightly faded red piece of clothing. Instead, he found an old video game cartridge that read “Pokémon Yellow” on the worn-out label on the floor between his computer desk and the wall, as well as a ribbon tucked underneath the head of his mattress that—like the game—didn’t belong to him. He figured Hana must have been using his room while he was away as a kind of hide-out.

Sure, the loss of an old shirt was of little consequence but he at least wanted something _familiar_ to hold on to. Though he wasn’t one for complete control over matters around him like Satya to him seemed to be, he still wanted _some_ control at least, especially now when everything around him just seemed too surreal from the new celebrity agents to the old back-from-the-dead ones.

From the flow of things, he’ll never know. He might even get news that his other mentor besides Ana, Gabriel Reyes, the former Blackwatch commander and Jesse’s saving grace, was actually alive too.

“That’ll definitely be somethin’,” Jesse muttered as he finally got up from his bed.

He figured he had excused himself for too long. If he stayed out of sight for too long and after making the exit he had earlier, Angela might come in and force him back to the medbay, deeming him incapable of handling the world outside her four too-white, sterile walls.

“Hana and Lúcio…Mei, Bastion and Satya…Fareeha, Ana and Jack,” he mumbled the names under his breath as he proceeded to exit his room.

It wasn’t a habit (yet) but he’s taken to listing his own thoughts and saying them out loud in repeat. Jesse couldn’t recall a time when he did this at all since it wasn’t like him to do such a thing but he did find that it helped him to a degree. It helped with the headaches at least. Whenever he thought too much about anything, his head would act up. But saying his thoughts aloud delayed this effect somewhat. It didn’t necessarily keep the aches from happening but at least it bought him more time before he was forced to give up thinking entirely.

“Hana…Lúcio…Mei…Bastion…Satya…Fareeha…Ana…Jack…” Jesse shook his head a little. A deeper part of his brain was telling him he forgot something or…someone? He wasn’t exactly sure. But even simply considering the fact that something was missing was starting to make his head hurt again. He shook his head a little and let out a sigh before repeating the names in his head once more.

* * *

#### DAY 6

“Oh, uhh…howdy.”

His words came out awkwardly. But in his defense, he didn’t expect anyone to be in there at this time of day. It was nearly midnight.

The man seated at one of the smaller tables in the kitchen looked up when he spoke. Judging by his startled expression, Jesse had interrupted him from whatever thoughts preoccupied him as he sat there with a steaming mug in his hands.

Looking at Jesse, he gave a kind of jerky nod of greeting. “Hello.”

“The name’s Jesse McCree. I don’t think we’ve met before?”

Jesse looked at him closely. Brown eyes, thick eyebrows that fanned slightly in the corners, long nose, high cheekbones, strong jaw, trim beard, and hair long enough that he could tie it at the back of his head with what looked to be a long red cord with small golden balls at the ends. He was wearing some kind of robe, fitted over both shoulders which revealed fair skin and nicely toned pecs in a V down the middle. It was all tied in place at the waist by a thick sash then connected with loose-fitting pants which was tucked at the knees with—leg armor? Or were those prosthetics?

The other man continued to look at him for a while, apparently appraising Jesse as he was doing with him before finally shaking his head in answer to his question.

“No, we have not. Hanzo Shimada,” he said with another nod though this time, more fluid and courteous.

“Shimada? You Genji’s family?”

“He is my brother, yes. He invited me into Overwatch a little while ago.”

_Brother…_

Jesse knew all about Genji’s brother of course. As did everyone else who knew Genji when he initially joined Overwatch years back. He was the guy who cut his brother down and nearly killed him. _Would_ have killed him if it weren’t for Overwatch’s timely arrival and Angela’s aid.

But he was here now. This Hanzo Shimada.

Taking a good look at him, Jesse figured Genji would’ve looked somewhat like him, if not completely alike, had he never been attacked by this man. Whole and—dare Jesse admit it—quite, no, _very_ gorgeous. Genji had more than once told Jesse of his earlier exploits when he was younger. Well, if he looked anything like his older brother, it was even less difficult to imagine now. The cyborg had told him he had been something like a player, especially in his teenage years. Not unlike Jesse, in fact. This was one of the few things they had in common which had initially brought them together as friends back when Genji first joined the organization. Back when he was unstable, angry, and susceptible to lashing out and breaking down.

Jesse tried to clear his head of the morose thoughts. It has been years since he last saw Genji loose control due to his anger and pain from what happened with his brother. He has recovered a great deal since then. And said-brother was even here now, in Overwatch. It wasn’t Jesse’s place to judge Hanzo when it was apparent that Genji has forgiven him enough to invite him into the team.

“Right,” he eventually said with a few nods of his head. He was doing it without thinking, really, as he headed over to the counter where the coffee machine was.

In silence, he pulled out one of the clean mugs from a cabinet overhead and set about with his business. He listened closely for Hanzo in case the man decided to take his drink elsewhere but he didn’t, a few glances behind him showed that the older Shimada was still there, face still thoughtful and taking a few sips of his drink from time to time. Jesse saw the string that was hanging over the lip of the mug and figured out that what he was drinking was tea. So far, Jesse thought he was just like Genji. He spoke quite properly and he was into tea.

A low beeping tore Jesse’s attention from Hanzo and Jesse made quick work of pouring himself a cup of coffee. After a few blows over the dark surface of the liquid, he brought the mug to his lips, tipped it, and sighed with unadulterated satisfaction when the warm liquid slid down his throat.

“Should you be taking in so much caffeine at this time of night? You will have trouble sleeping.”

This comment took him by surprise. Although they only met a few minutes ago, Jesse wouldn’t have pegged Hanzo to be the type who engaged in idle chit-chat. He didn’t look it at all. In fact, the aura he’s been giving off since Jesse entered the dining hall-slash-kitchen was quite similar to that of Satya’s. He was actually pleasantly surprised to be proven wrong.

Leaning against the counter by the hip, Jesse turned around to look at him to find the man already looking at him with brows slightly raised.

“I’m already havin’ trouble sleepin’, darlin’,” he said with a little smile playing at the corners of his lips.

“Is it…is it your head injury?” Hanzo inquired, his voice noticeably hesitant.

“Even you know about that, huh?” Jesse was quite sheepish now and he unconsciously scratched the back of his head. He felt the small bald patch hidden under his hair, and the elevated line of skin there from where his stitches used to be.

“Everyone does…”

These words came out of Hanzo in a mumble but Jesse still heard it and he let out a little laugh in response before pushing himself off the counter to sit at the same table where Hanzo was.

“So, what do you do Hanzo? You don’t mind if I call you that, yeah? Considerin’ you and Genji have the same surname. It kinda feels weird if I call you ‘Shimada’.”

“It is fine. And what do you mean what do I do?”

“Well, ya joined Overwatch. Everyone who’s in this ragtag group is at least real good at somethin’ or another.”

“A variety of things. Archery, mostly.”

“Archery? Like, a bow and arrow…that kinda thing?”

The corner of Hanzo’s lips quirked up momentarily that Jesse thought he was either irritated or ready to laugh. Somehow, he wasn’t sure.

“Yes, that ‘kinda thing’,” Hanzo imitated with a slight roll to his eyes. He probably took offense to the incredulity in Jesse’s voice when he asked the question but he didn’t look too bothered by it. He was smiling at any rate.

He figured he might have been a little too callous in his manner of speaking. But it shouldn’t have been too surprising. It was an age of guns (not even regular guns but modified ones, like Peacekeeper), rockets, and lasers. Even one of their newest agents piloted a _mecha_ —a thought that stunned him as it did amaze him (and still yet to believe until he saw it for himself).

To bring a bow and arrow to a fight of all things. Jesse can’t really see it doing much damage on the field.

* * *

#### DAY 7

“I’m tellin’ ya, it was one helluva sight! _Really_ impressive.”

Genji, who was seated next to him with his visor off, turned to him with amusement written plainly across his face.

“I already know my brother is skilled with a bow and arrow, Jesse.”

“Yes, but I didn’t. Don’t even know anyone who could use a bow and arrow. And to be shown somethin’ like that…” he trailed away and let out a low and impressed whistle.

Earlier that afternoon, Jesse had wandered over to the target range to watch the other agents train. He couldn’t do it himself so he instead settled with watching others practice. When Angela had told him that he wasn’t allowed to train for sixty days, he gave up going to the training rooms altogether. But after speaking with Hanzo the previous night, he got curious enough to drag himself there in hopes of catching the archer doing his thing.

And catch him he did.

He was already in the training room watching Jack and Lena shooting moving targets in separate areas when Hanzo showed up, bow and quiver of arrows in hand. He was wearing a similar outfit from the previous night through this was one a different color and one side of his robe was tucked into his sash-like belt—he told him last night it was called an _obi_ —revealing a rather large tattoo that ran from the left side of his chest all the way down to his wrist.

Jesse didn’t even expect him to be inked, let alone have anything that beautifully extensive so this surprised him…though not as much as his own thoughts when he decided it really looked good on him and suited him well.

When Hanzo caught his eye, they exchanged nods of greeting but didn’t say anything. Jesse stayed where he was on a chair at the back of the room while Hanzo carried on to the farthest open area of the range apparently so as not to disturb the other two who were already engrossed with their own training.

Hanzo spent a full hour training and shooting targets from mobile to immobile ones and Jesse stayed the entire time, only leaving when the archer made to leave as well. His eyes were trained on Hanzo’s side of the room the entire time that he didn’t even notice when Jack and Lena had left.

 _“What kind of shit was that?!”_ were the only words he could say to Hanzo at the time when they left the training room and this reaction was only met with laughter, bringing about a twinkle in the archer’s eyes as the pair of them talked on their way back to the common room where they finally separated after Hanzo announced that he needed to shower.

“So I take it you and Hanzo are getting along?”

Jesse blinked away from his cliff-side view of the Gibraltar Strait below them to turn to Genji who was still looking at him with curiosity.

“Yeah, I think so. Your brother’s actually quite easy to talk to. Thought he’d be the serious type…I mean, he does look it after all. But yeah, I like him.”

 Genji gave a sort of noncommittal sound at this and Jesse saw that he was smiling.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just that I am glad that you are still the same foolish you even after the injuries you sustained.”

“Who ya callin’ foolish?!” he demanded and this made Genji laugh out loud.

It was only when Genji’s hilarity died down that Jesse spoke again and this time in a more serious tone quite uncharacteristic of him.

“Speakin’ of my injury. Do you know what happened to me? No one’s tellin’ me nothin’ no matter how much I ask. I figure Angela got to them and told ‘em not to say anythin’. Been meanin’ to ask you since she let me out the medbay but I couldn’t find you. Were you on a mission?”

“Yes. I was sent out with my master and my brother. We were in Central America for over a week. We only returned last night,” Genji informed him easily enough.

Jesse waited for him to tell him about his injury but after a whole minute of silence, the cyborg ninja still didn’t speak. He was forced to let out a disappointed sigh. He should’ve known not to get anything from him either. Even Fareeha, his _sister_ , wouldn’t talk to him about it when he tried to weasel the information out of her. Of course, his _brother_ would be the same. If anything, he should’ve expected Genji to be more stubborn about keeping information from him. He was just as close to Angela as he was to Jesse. And when it came to medical advice, Genji was the type to always follow through on the doctor’s instructions. He’s been like this since Angela saved him though for good reason.

“Sorry Jesse. I am not keeping things from you just because Angela asked. I believe it is the same for the others as well. We just want you to recover fully first. After that, I and everyone else will tell you about how you got your injuries and whatever else you want to know. I promise.”

* * *

#### DAY 12

Jesse was quick to spot him the moment the metal doors to the dining hall and kitchen slid open in front of him. He was seated in the same spot he had taken the first time they met there and every night since.

“Howdy,” he greeted with a nod towards Hanzo who nodded back in return.

Today marked a full week since they started this odd routine of theirs. Every night without fail, they would meet up in there shortly before midnight, each with their own drinks and they would talk. Their little meet-ups only ever lasted for roughly half an hour which was the amount of time they took to finish their drinks. Usually it was Hanzo who finished first whether he arrived in the dining hall first or not and when he did, he always left for his quarters with no unnecessary dawdling though Jesse sometimes wished he would especially during times when they were in the middle of interesting points of conversation…like two days ago when Hanzo was telling him about the time Genji dyed his hair green. He had just brought it up but ended that topic right there when he realized his tea had run out and he quickly excused himself even if he had left Jesse hanging in the middle of a particularly embarrassing story about the cyborg during his more rebellious years that he was hoping to use against him one day.

“You looked exhausted,” Hanzo said when Jesse took his usual seat across from him at their shared table.

“No more than usual,” Jesse said with a weak smile before taking a sip of his coffee.

The archer let out a disapproving sigh. “I keep telling you not to drink so much coffee this late in the night.”

“And I’m tellin’ you it ain’t the coffee keepin’ me up,” he reminded with a raised brow. “If anythin’, it’s actually helping me relax enough to pass out.”

“Then tell me what is bothering you. Maybe I can help?”

Jesse gave him a look.

“And no,” Hanzo continued quickly, already understanding what he was thinking, “I cannot tell you about your accident.”

With a groan, Jesse slid forward and let his forehead bang on the smooth metal surface.

“Do _not_ do that,” came Hanzo’s stern voice which made Jesse turn to look at him, head still on the table.

“Do what?”

“Your head. You were injured in the head and _very_ severely might I add. Do not put any more undue stress on it.”

“I hurt the back of my head, sweetheart. Not the front.”

Hanzo frowned down at him.

“It is still the same head, regardless of which area you injured. It is all connected either way.”

Jesse wanted to argue this point but saw how serious Hanzo looked and decided to keep his mouth shut and simply nodded instead.

Looking appeased, Hanzo let out another sigh before taking a particularly long sip of his tea.

“Was it really that bad?” Jesse asked, his eyes still on the man next to him and he saw him freeze perceptibly at the question.

“What…?” Hanzo asked, feigning ignorance that didn’t fool Jesse at all.

“You know what I mean.”

It took him a moment but eventually Hanzo turned to look at Jesse again, straight in the eye.

“I know everyone knows about my injury except me, Hanzo. Since I got out of the medbay, everyone’s been skirtin' around me like I’m made of glass, ready to break should I learn even a little about how I got hurt. Was it really _that_ bad?” he repeated as he held Hanzo’s gaze with his.

Hanzo continued to stare back at him, unblinking, as if in a trance.

He opened his mouth, a reply apparently at the ready at the tip of his tongue…but then he closed it again and gulped quite audibly before turning away.

“Angela…” he started some minutes later. “Angela said we should not tell—"

“Oh screw what Angela said,” Jesse said, cutting him off and unable to keep down his frustrations any longer.

Twelve days have passed since he was discharged from the medbay. He has all these restrictions on him which basically meant that he couldn’t do _anything_ he did nearly everyday during healthier times. He wouldn’t have minded if he couldn’t train or do missions, if only he could smoke. The same could be said for smoking if only he could at least put Peacekeeper in his hands and shoot something. He needed something to get the edge off but nearly every single thing he thought of wasn’t allowed. He was deprived of the two things that proved to actually relax him and he still had forty-eight days left until he could indulge again.

Well, there was _one_ other thing he could do to relax himself. But he’s been doing that in excess as of late to the point that his skin has been rubbed raw and now he can’t even do that anymore…at least not for a little while until _it_ recovered a little and become fit for use again.

“You don’t have to tell me _all_ the details. But at least give me an image here,” he all but begged. “C’mon Han…please?” he added, hoping the nickname would loosen the man enough to give in.

Jesse didn’t expect the reaction he got from what he just said. He really didn’t. Hanzo had turned his head to look down at him once more but this time his face wasn’t neutral or passive like it usually was…if anything, Jesse thought he looked hurt and angry. He also looked ready to cry.

As soon as he saw this, Jesse sat up straight again, an apology already at the ready but he never got the chance.

Hanzo had gotten up from his seat so fast that Jesse momentarily mistook him for Lena. He watched him take his mug to the sink, drain what was left inside it before stalking out of the hall.

Jesse stared after him for a while, still confused and shocked by what just happened. What made the archer blow? Was it his begging? His insistence that he tell Jesse what he wanted to hear? Was he too pushy? Or was it because he said “Han” as if they were closer than they actually were? They’ve only known each other for a week after all. Jesse wasn’t even sure if it was right for him to label their relationship as something so close as “friendship” when really, he’s only ever talked to him during these short meetings in the night save for that one day in the training room.

“Shit…”

* * *

#### DAY 16

Should he be grateful? Jesse wasn’t sure.

For one thing, Hanzo’s avoidance of Jesse meant that he’s been left to wonder about the archer’s wellbeing and the state of their relationship. In turn, this meant that Jesse’s obsession about the cause of his injuries was forcefully put on hold and shoved unceremoniously to the back of his head (no pun intended).

For another, he and Hanzo weren’t talking anymore. He particularly didn’t like this consequence to what happened between them which made Jesse think that no, he shouldn’t be grateful that Hanzo was avoiding him.

Sure, it meant less headaches for him from his lack of constant attempts at trying to remember the mission that caused his injuries, but he didn’t like losing his maybe-or-maybe-not friend.

“What’s getting you down, cowboy?”

Jesse looked up just as Fareeha plopped down on the couch next to him.

“Hanzo’s avoidin’ me,” he muttered truthfully. No point beating around the bush where Fareeha was concerned. She always found a way to get him to talk whenever she pleased. May as well be upfront about the matter from the get-go.

She raised her brows in reply to this statement before looking momentarily thoughtful.

“Didn’t know you two were super close,” she said, rather carefully too which made Jesse look at her oddly. “I mean, I never even saw you two actually talk and stuff.”

“Oh,” Jesse said with a shrug. “We aren’t that close, I guess. Just that we’ve been talkin’ here and there for a while. But we haven’t in the last three days. In fact, I haven’t even _seen_ him. Even during meals. Is he out on a mission, d’ya know?”

“I wouldn’t think so. I mean, he shouldn’t be put on any other mission for a while since he just got back from the one in Guatemala.”

“Guatemala?”

Fareeha’s eyes widened when Jesse said this and she jerkily nodded her head. “Yes, anyway,” she spoke quickly, apparently keen on changing the subject. “Uhh… let’s see. Right now, Reinhardt, Hana, Jack, Mei, Satya, Lúcio, and mom are all out on a mission. So yeah, Hanzo should be around here somewhere, yeah? Why not go look for him?”

“When did they leave?” Jesse asked, surprised.

The other agents have been in and out of Gibraltar in quick succession. He didn’t know what missions they were on and where exactly they were sent. Normally it was never a secret but they never made a point to talk about it either unless asked—which rarely anyone ever does—or willingly told by those involved. Anyway, even if Jesse did ask for details, he knew he wouldn’t be told a thing. He tried asking Zenyatta some days ago about a mission he and a few others were given and he point-blank told him that not knowing about any of the missions was also a part of Angela’s terms when she put the “No missions” restriction on him. There have been many missions since and he hasn’t bothered to ask about any of them.

Jesse was also surprised by this. It’s only been a month and a couple of weeks since the Recall and yet there were already that many missions on the table that everyone was actually constantly on the move. He assumed that there would be more times where they’d all be stuck on base with not much to do considering the Petras Act was still in effect and the UN along with the rest of the world were keeping an eye out over Overwatch activities. But he was proven wrong. He didn’t know how Winston—the de-facto leader of the current Overwatch; Jack and Ana refused to take the position from him despite their return—was doing it, sending so many agents all across the globe without getting caught yet. But he did and they were doing it without incident so Jesse tried not to think about it anymore than he needed to.

“Two days ago…when you were sulking around the place by yourself,” Fareeha said with a teasing grin.

Jesse looked at her for a moment before catching her in a headlock and mussing up her usually impeccable hair, making her laugh and struggle to get free.

* * *

#### DAY 18

Jesse took a deep breath and exhaled. He did this for a few times before he finally got up from his bed and purposefully strode out of his quarters.

It’s been five days. Five whole days of not seeing or speaking with Hanzo. It was about time he apologized. Not that anything was stopping him. He’s been itching to apologize to the archer since the same day their little disagreement (or whatever you call it) happened. If he lets this day pass without doing anything—and there were only a few minutes left until midnight)—that’ll be six days. The more time he took lolling around and waiting for an opportunity to arise instead of actually making the effort, the more it’ll be harder to face the man should the time even ever come.

He strode over to where he knew Hanzo’s room was (all the rooms were labeled on the electronic plate to the left side of the door, just above where the security panels were) and stopped in front of the metal doors. His feet were planted on the rough, rectangular-shaped, black flooring set in front of every private quarter entrance which functioned as something like a mat to clean the dirt off their boots before entrance as well as to identify respective owners. This proved particularly useful especially when they entered their own rooms. It saved them from having to talk to Athena or to punch in their own codes every time they came in.

To his surprise, however, the metal doors that led into Hanzo’s room opened automatically as soon as Jesse’s feet landed on the mat and his raised knuckles were left hanging over open air.

Although the room was dark, the light that filtered in from the hallway was enough for him to see that the room was exactly the same size and design as his own. Bed carved into the wall on one side, a window directly opposite from the main entrance and a desk below it with a computer on top, a door to the left that led to a bathroom, a closet, a few shelves and drawers. The only difference, perhaps—besides the few Japanese decorative items that sat on the shelves—was the small table in there (which was similar to Jesse’s). It had two chairs pushed against it on opposite sides while Jesse had none at all in his room. Although he personally had no use for them, he made a mental note to ask someone (maybe Winston?) about this disparity.

Jesse’s eyes looked around the room for a while, somewhat entranced by how homey it looked in his eyes. It even _felt_ homey while his own room looked and felt something like a hotel room. Barely slept in and almost suffocating with prolonged use.

Then his gaze finally landed on Hanzo. He was laying on the bed, facing the wall, dressed only in pajama bottoms and…was that his missing flannel?

With quiet footsteps, Jesse walked over towards him and winced when the doors behind him _whoosh_ ed loudly to a close and the room was once more sent into darkness. But the light inhales and exhales escaping from the archer with every ascent and descent of his form indicated that he was still fast asleep. Jesse was relieved. He and Hanzo still weren’t on good terms and the last thing he wanted was for him to wake up and find him standing there in his room, uninvited, in the middle of the night like some kind of stalker.

He stopped right beside Hanzo and kneeled on the floor next to him.

Truth be told, he didn’t know what he was doing but he had to know if it really was his missing favorite flannel or not. He’s been looking for it this entire time after all.

Grateful for the moonlight (although dim) that illuminated the room through the window, Jesse leaned over Hanzo while tugging on the sleeve of the shirt the tiniest amount.

Hanzo gave a little jolting snort before rolling over onto his back.

Panicking, Jesse pulled away quickly just in time to avoid getting his hand trapped under the man. When he saw Hanzo’s closed eyes, he breathed out in relief before checking on the shirt again. There were at least two things about his shirt that could confirm it to be his. One was the tiny hole located on the left cuff. He had caught the sleeve on a nail in a battered and abandoned old house he lived in for a few weeks while he was trying to keep a low profile in Odessa a while back.

Jesse leaned forward once more and checked on the cuff as much as he could without touching Hanzo. There it was, a small hole close to the opening meant for the cuff button.

The other indicator was the missing top-most button near the collar. He had lost it the very first time he put on the shirt after he got it years ago. It had popped right off after Jesse tried to move around with all the buttons fastened. He didn’t mind though, he never liked closing up all the buttons. It was too constricting around the neck and at the time, he was just trying to see how it looked like worn that way.

His eyes trailed slowly from Hanzo’s wrist to his exposed navel. The archer didn’t button up the flannel and left it completely open and both sides were currently laying in a pool on the bed on either side of his torso, completely exposing his body from the hip up. Jesse stared at Hanzo’s nicely defined abs, noticing a bit of ink peaking from the hem of his pajamas on his right side, right next to the partially exposed V line of his hip. Jesse narrowed his eyes slightly on the tattoo and from the little he could see of it, thought it looked quite similar to the tattoo on his left arm. He thought he was looking at what looked to be a dragon’s snout. Jesse wondered just how far down _this_ tattoo went and guessed that it probably wrapped his entire right leg much like its twin around his arm.

Shaking his head, Jesse resumed his examination of ~~Hanzo’s chest~~ _his flannel_. His eyes raked back up his torso until it landed on Hanzo’s perfectly chiseled chest. He dipped his head down again, looking closely at his… _flannel_. Yes, his flannel. He was looking at his flannel.

The collar was covering his view so he had to pull on it a little to reveal the, indeed missing, top-most button.

This was his flannel.

Well, of course it was. Who else on base had a flannel that had that exact design and that exact amount of wear on the fabric to make it look like what it does?

But…why did Hanzo have it? Why was Hanzo _wearing_ it? Did he find it tossed out somewhere in the laundry room and just picked it up and decided to claim it as his own? It was a pretty comfy flannel after all. It fit just slightly loose on Jesse to accommodate his prosthetic arm and it was really soft too. Perfect for lounging around. Or in Hanzo’s case, sleeping.

Hanzo shifted in his sleep and the movement caused his chin to touch the back of Jesse’s hand which was still holding on to the collar.

He held his breath as Hanzo grumbled a little under his breath…and his lids lifted ever so slightly, revealing sleepy and partially glazed-over irises.

They stared at each other and Jesse was wracking his brain for some form of reasonable excuse as to why he was in Hanzo’s room in the dead of night, watching the man sleep.

“Han—”

“Jesse…” the man below him mumbled and he thought he saw a tear escape the corner of his eye. But he couldn’t make sure. As soon as Hanzo had said his name, the archer had reached upwards and had wrapped his arms around Jesse’s neck before pulling him down over him.

Jesse’s eyes widened just as Hanzo’s closed.

Hanzo was kissing him.

 _Why_ was Hanzo kissing him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be updating this story soon. The next chapters are already ready for the most part.
> 
> Also, as to the tags above.... it'll happen soon. Promise. :)
> 
> * * *
> 
>  **EDIT (04/23/2018):** One of my readers, the amazing **Darya87** just made some _awesome_ artwork for this story and I already incorporated the image she drew into the appropriate chapter. I'll still include the link here so everyone can see it (you may be spoiled as to what happens though so unless you've already read this story, I suggest holding off on clicking the link/viewing the image until you actually reach the part where it happens; I did edit the image between the text so you'll definitely see it). You can find the full image of her work over at her [DeviantArt](http://fav.me/dc9gqgp) and/or [tumblr](https://captainneedsnosleep.tumblr.com/post/173171082584/i-just-read).
> 
> Also, if any of you guys ever create anything based off my work in the future, don't hesitate to tell me. I'll be more than happy to give you a special mention and even link your work. If it works well into my story (like you draw a specific scene or something), I'll even include your art into the chapters like I did with Darya87. ♥


	2. Hanzo's Uncertainty

#### DAY 18

 _Jesse…_ Hanzo’s mind called out to the man in front of him.

There he was, his cowboy, smiling at him with both arms, flesh and metal, held out towards him.

Smiling right back at him, Hanzo closed the distance between them. He snaked his arms around his neck just as Jesse wrapped his own arms around Hanzo’s waist.

Without another word or any sign of confirmation, Hanzo leaned up just as Jesse leaned down and finally, their lips met in a kiss.

They stayed like that for a while, giving each other chaste, sweet kisses with their mouths closed.

But when he felt Jesse’s cool prosthetic hand slowly reach underneath his shirt until it touched the bare skin of his back, he gasped and the gunslinger had taken that opportunity to stick his tongue into his mouth.

A low moan escaped from Hanzo’s throat as he felt Jesse’s warm human hand squeeze him by the hip, and his just as warm and _wet_ tongue push against his own before continuing its exploration from the roof of his mouth to tracing along his teeth until it locked into battle with his own tongue once again, trying to gain dominance over the other.

By the time they finally had enough sense to pull apart to breathe oxygen into their empty lungs, they were panting and gasping for air.

“Han…” Jesse said in his usual loving voice whenever he said his name. Hanzo felt him trace the side of his face with his warm, calloused fingers and he couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “Han…” he repeated once more.

Hanzo held his hand over Jesse’s against his face and kept it there. He slowly opened his eyes.

He was met with complete darkness.

With wide eyes, Hanzo sat bolt right up and looked around. He was panting now. As if the him in his dream had surfaced to reality and he had become as breathless as he had been within it. He blinked a few times and it took a few moments for his vision to adjust to the darkness of his unlit room.

 _Just a dream,_ he reminded himself. _It was just a dream…_

But this gave little comfort to Hanzo who could feel the back of his eyes prick painfully, threatening more tears to form in the corners.

The dream…Hanzo didn’t want it to be a dream. He wanted them all to be real. He wanted them to be real so bad, he thought he would die if he had to endure any more of these dreams. He’s been having the same one every night without fail since _that_ day.

“Jesse,” Hanzo said in a whisper as he brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them before lowering his head.

The moment his forehead touched his kneecaps, he could feel the dam holding his tears back, break, effectively soaking his pajamas in a few short seconds.

But he didn’t care. He was used to it.

He’s been crying every night for weeks now after all.

“Jesse…”

* * *

#### DAY 15

When he heard the loud banging on his door, he froze on his seat. He was in the middle of making more arrows at the moment, with all the materials he needed spread across the small table in front of him. In fact, he’s been doing this in excess for the last two days, ever since he walked out on Jesse in the dining hall that one night.

He was being a coward for trying to avoid Jesse as much as possible but he couldn’t help it. Hanzo didn’t think he had enough strength to face him. Not yet, anyway. He needed time to recover…from his own thoughts about the cowboy.

Silence filled his room once more and Hanzo had thought whoever it was outside had given up. He turned his attention back to the yellow fletching in his hand. It was crooked in different places. He didn’t even realize that he had squeezed on it hard enough to deform it.

Hanzo was in the process of trying to straighten it somehow, in hopes of not wasting it until another round of banging invaded his senses once more.

This time it wasn’t just banging. There were a few shouts that was added into the mix as well.

“Hanzo!! I know you’re in there!”

The voice wasn’t the deep baritone he had expected it to be. In fact, it wasn’t even a _man_ ’s voice at all.

“Please open up?” came the same voice again.

Hanzo got up from his chair and strode over to the only entrance into his quarters. The doors slid open automatically as soon as his bare feet stepped on the black mat similar to the one situated on the outside.

“Hana,” he said in surprise as he looked down at the teenager.

“About time,” Hana said with a sigh before walking past Hanzo and entering the room without so much as an invitation.

Hanzo didn’t mind. He was close and comfortable enough with the young mech pilot to allow such behavior. This had already become something like a habit of hers anyway. Whenever something bothered her, she usually came to Hanzo or Jesse (or both, which happened more often than not since they were always together) to complain about it and the pair would always listen to her and give her advice should she ask for any.

Hana kicked off her shoes and left them next to Hanzo’s high-tech leg armor which he normally didn’t wear on base unless he was training. She strolled further in and dropped herself heavily onto Hanzo’s bed where she pulled on the sheets and curled into a ball underneath it.

This wasn’t anything new to him. He was already well aware of Hana’s habits whenever she was upset. So, he went back to the seat he had vacated before his guest’s arrival and resumed with his work.

A few silent minutes had passed between them until Hana finally spoke.

“Hanzo,” she said, still from underneath the sheets. Her voice had come out slightly muffled because of this but she didn’t move from her fetal position at all.

“Hmm?”

“Do you think…Jesse will ever get better?”

To say he wasn’t expecting Hana’s problem to be about Jesse would be a lie.

There weren’t a lot of things that could bother the girl so much as to rely on other people to make her feel better. Normally, she would come to Hanzo and Jesse with frustrations about her growing feelings for Lúcio and the possibility of them having a “relationship”. But seeing as the pair have been more than good as of late, Hanzo knew she wasn’t here to talk about the upbeat DJ. So, he already expected that the issue this time around was about the cowboy.

He already prepared himself for the topic of conversation but her question still caught him off guard, because even he didn’t know the answer to it.

“I do not know…” he answered truthfully and he finally stopped his hands from moving over the materials in front of him. One corner of the table was already piled high with arrows and he was sure he wouldn’t be able to go through them that fast.  Depending on how much he’ll use, he had probably made enough to last him three or four missions _and_ daily training.

When he heard the slight shuffling of bedsheet and blanket, he turned around to look at Hana whose face was now peeking through a small open gap she made so she could look at him. The look on her face held that of complete sorrow, not unlike the face Hanzo usually had on whenever he found himself alone. Although Hanzo made a show of looking normal and quite unaffected whenever he was with other people, he couldn’t maintain such a face when he was by himself. During those times, he actually lets his depression take over.

“We were in the game room just now…and I had to teach him how to play Mario Kart all over again.”

Her voice was light, conversational. But Hanzo knew she was more than just a little upset. Not because she had to reteach Jesse how to play a video game that took _too long_ for him to get a handle over the first time around (if Hanzo remembered correctly, they had to play the game a full straight week before the cowboy could finally play it on his own without someone having to coach him over his shoulder—usually Hanzo), but because of the memories it must’ve brought her, only to be reminded that the other person had no recollection of what they once shared.

Hanzo felt that too. Every single time he met up with Jesse in the dining hall. And that’s precisely why it’s gotten that much harder for him to face him. He wanted so much to talk to him but couldn’t…shouldn’t. So now, he’s forced to avoid him entirely.

“Hanzo…” Hana called out, her voice soft. “I miss him.”

He gave her a sad, barely-even-there smile.

“I miss him too…” he replied in a similar tone. He looked up at the ceiling and exhaled loudly, laboriously. “To be honest, I feel lonelier now than I had been when I was still sitting by his bedside, waiting for him to wake up. I am finally talking to him and spending time with him after a month of not being able to do so, and yet…I feel more alone now than ever.”

Hanzo had ended up rambling about his feelings. Feelings that he did not at all intend to relay to anyone else, but he couldn’t help it. And this was Hana…if anyone were to understand his feelings right now, it would be her.

Although everyone in Overwatch was concerned over Jesse’s wellbeing and the partial loss of his memories, they weren’t at the point of being depressed about it. Not like Hana and definitely not like Hanzo.

He understood of course. Jesse didn’t lose all his memories, just his most recent ones, which meant that he still retained his memories of nearly everyone else in Overwatch so it didn’t really change their relationship. But as for Hanzo, Hana, and the other newer members who came along after the Recall, it changed everything. Jesse was good friends with all of them, sure, but he had only ever grown _really_ close with Hanzo and Hana. It was only expected that this whole ordeal would affect them the most.

Hanzo sighed, shook his head and turned to Hana once more.

She was still laying on his bed, wrapped tightly underneath his blanket with her face exposed. But now, tears were flowing over the bridge of her nose into her other eye where it mingled with more tears before sliding down the outer corner and landing on Hanzo’s bed.

“Jesse will come back,” she said in a whisper that sounded more like a wish than actual reassurance. She gave Hanzo a sad little smile before she hid her face underneath the blanket once more. “He has too.”

* * *

#### DAY 12

“Howdy.”

Hanzo glanced up from his mug to look at Jesse who had just walked into the dining hall and he greeted the man back with a silent nod.

He didn’t turn when he walked off somewhere behind him. Instead, he simply listened. He listened to the gunslinger as he noisily went about his business of making his usual cup of coffee. Every move he made, Hanzo knew what he was doing at the very moment without having to look at him. The clinking of glass meant he was picking out a mug. The sliding sound it made against the surface meant that he had finally selected one. Unlike Hanzo who used his own mug—a simple rounded one in navy blue with a small red heart printed on the bottom from the inside which was only visible whenever he finished his drink—Jesse always came back to the table with a different one in hand instead of using his own mug which Hanzo knew he forgot he even owned. But it sat there in the cabinet, and it was a matching one to Hanzo’s. A simple rounded one exactly like his but in maroon red with a blue heart. Jesse had bought the mugs for them in Dorado after a mission. Hanzo even recalled calling him cheesy for buying them such a thing but he used it nonetheless.

For a few minutes, he continued to listen up until he heard the sound of pouring coffee. This was later on followed by Jesse’s blowing through pursed lips until the man himself reappeared in Hanzo’s peripherals before finally settling himself down with him at the table.

“You look exhausted.”

“No more than usual,” Jesse said with a smile that didn’t completely reach his eyes.

Hanzo watched him as he took a sip of his coffee, then sighed. He didn’t like seeing Jesse this way. Hanzo can’t even remember the last time he had seen the taller man this tired before…and he was supposed to be properly resting according to Angela’s instructions.

“I keep telling you not to drink so much coffee this late in the night,” he said, trying to not sound too petulant. They were supposed to be new-found friends after all. He shouldn’t be too familiar with him like he used to be.

“And I’m tellin’ you it ain’t the coffee keepin’ me up. If anythin’, it’s actually helping me relax enough to pass out.”

“Then tell me what is bothering you. Maybe I can help?” he suggested, before adding, “And no, I cannot tell you about your accident.” _I wish I could._

Jesse groaned and let his head drop to the table between them.

“Do _not_ do that,” Hanzo warned before he could stop himself.

“Do what?”

“Your head,” he said, trying to keep his voice leveled. “You were injured in the head and _very_ severely might I add. Do no put any more undue stress on it.” _Please take care of yourself,_ he added in his mind.

“I hurt the back of my head, sweetheart.” The name made Hanzo’s heart squeeze painfully. “Not the front.”

He frowned at Jesse.

“It is still the same head, regardless of which area you injured. It is all connected either way.”

They looked at each other and only until Jesse nodded did Hanzo feel slightly at ease.

He sighed once more and took a particularly long sip of his drink. His tea was slowly getting cold, as it usually did since he’s taken to drinking it painfully slow lately when normally he could finish a cup’s worth in mere minutes. How long has he been enduring lukewarm tea? It’s been a week now, hasn’t it?

Hanzo usually had his evening tea in his room but recently, he’s been having it in the dining hall and it’s all because of a certain someone.

That first day he met Jesse there was completely by chance. The portable burner in his room which he used to heat his own water for his tea was broken so he was forced to come down and have his tea in the dining hall instead. He never expected Jesse to show up there but when he did, he couldn’t help but return the same time the next day in hopes of seeing him again and creating an opportunity to speak with him…and like that, it became a routine. He had since gotten a replacement burner which came in two days after his old one broke but he still hadn’t used it.

Instead, he continued to come here. For Jesse. For this time alone with him.

“Was it really that bad?”

Jesse’s question caught Hanzo off guard and he froze. He was asking about his accident and he knew it from the seriousness of his tone and the just as serious look on his face.

“What…?” he replied, trying to act as if he didn’t understand what he was talking about but even he knew he didn’t sound convincing at all. Hanzo thought he was a good liar but when the recipient of said lies was the man in front of him? He may as well not bother.

“You know what I mean.”

Hanzo turned to him once more and he suddenly felt paralyzed by the honey-brown gaze which, in the last few days, lost its brilliance and had become dull from exhaustion.

“I know everyone knows about my injury except me, Hanzo,” he said, dejected. “Since I got out of the medbay, everyone’s been skirtin’ around me like I’m made of glass, ready to break should I learn even a little about how I got hurt.”

He continued to stare at Jesse. Finding himself unable to look away or even blink.

“Was it really _that_ bad?” he repeated.

For a while, Hanzo continued to stare.

He wanted so much to tell him everything.

He was ready to tell him everything.

He was going to tell him.

Hanzo opened his mouth.

_“But you said he was awake?!”_

_“He…He was. I talked to him about his injuries. Or at least, I tried to. But Hanzo…he doesn’t remember it. Any of it. He was so confused. He looked lost. He doesn’t remember the mission at all or how he got injured.”_

_“What do you mean he cannot remember?” he demanded, confused as he looked at Angela for answers._

_He couldn’t find it within himself to look at Jesse who was now once more hooked up to a variety of machines. Most of them had been removed from his body only a week ago because he was getting better. But now he was hooked on them again. Hanzo didn’t understand why. Angela had sent him a message through Athena to tell him that Jesse had woken up. That’s why Hanzo came over to the medbay as soon as he finished training. But it was only to be met with the sight before him which clearly did not include a conscious Jesse McCree._

_“His head injury caused him to lose some of his memories, Hanzo,” Angela explained gently. “He tried to remember them. He tried to think about what I was talking about to make sense of it all but…but when he did, he fainted and began to destabilize very quickly. It was so bad that I had to put him into a medically-induced coma. I’m sorry. He was freaking out too much from not being able to recall anything that his vitals shot up before dropping just as fast. I had to put him to sleep to keep himself from stressing out. He needs to rest. His brain needs to heal. It’s for the best. Even when he wakes up, we can’t bring up anything that might stress him out or we risk worsening the damage already done to his head.”_

_“How much of his memories did he forget?” he asked, his tone quite stiff and his face looking as he felt at the moment, dead._

_“Hanzo…” Angela said warningly, her own face laced with nothing else but worry. Worry for Hanzo._

_“Just tell me, Angela. Please.”_

_Angela stared at him for a while as if trying to find some reason she could use to deny him the facts but found none._

_She turned away from him._

_“Everything that happened since his first day in Gibraltar,” she finally said and she didn’t have the heart to look at Hanzo at all._

_“His…first day…? But that is…”_

Hanzo gulped and turned away from Jesse as worsening images of the cowboy began flashing in his head, most of them involved the taller man almost drenched in blood from head to toe.

“Angela…” he managed to say sometime later. “Angela said we should not tell—"

“Oh screw what Angela said,” Jesse interrupted, sounding frustrated. “You don’t have to tell me _all_ the details. But at least give me an image here.”

Jesse’s tone was pleading and it tore at Hanzo to not be able to give the man what he wants.

“C’mon Han…please?”

Hanzo felt like vomiting now. He looked at Jesse once more and he could feel every emotion he felt at the time of the accident come back to him in full force along with everyone’s comforting words as they tried to calm him down. _Him_. They were trying to make _him_ feel better when it was Jesse who was bloodied up and unconscious.

_“Brother, let him go. They need to take him back to the transport ship.”_

_“No worries Hanzo. They’ll take care of Jesse.”_

_“Yeah, leave it to me and my mech!”_

_“We’ll get to Angela in no time with my speed boost. Leave it to me.”_

…

_“This isn’t your fault, Hanzo.”_

He couldn’t take it any longer.

Hanzo shot out of his seat, dumped what was left of his already cold tea into the sink and leaving his mug there without even bothering to clean it like he usually would and left. He stalked out of the dining hall without so much as a backwards glance at the cowboy who still sat there, probably bewildered.

He couldn’t bear to stay any longer. He could feel his tears on the verge of escaping and he was determined not to show such a pathetic sight in front of Jesse. He wouldn’t be able to take it if he, of all people, would come and try to calm him down...or worse, apologize.

* * *

#### DAY 9

“I have heard you and Jesse had finally met.”

“Three days ago, yes,” Hanzo said in surprise. “How do you know?”

“Jesse came to me two days ago to tell me about it. He is quite impressed with your archery skills.”

“I know. He made sure to tell me right after I finished training that day,” he said with amusement.

“Want to know what else he said about you?”

Hanzo raised a suspicious brow at his brother.

“What?” Genji asked, immediately defensive.

“Are you going to make things up just to make me feel better?”

A mock-offended expression crossed Genji’s face as he said this and he promptly put on his visor over his face as if to show Hanzo that he was now sulking.

“You know what? Fine. I will keep it to myself.”

Hanzo elbowed Genji in the side which made the younger Shimada chuckle and let out a kind of static-y sigh.

“He said you are easy to talk to.”

“Did he now?”

“I guess the fact that you already have feelings for him this time around helped a lot? Back when you actually met for the first time, you did not get along this quickly.”

“It was my first time meeting a real, live _cowboy_. What did you expect?”

They both shared a laugh at this. Hanzo and Jesse didn’t get along at all when Hanzo was first brought to Gibraltar by Genji and it wasn’t because of the gunslinger who was eternally kind to just about everyone. It was because of Hanzo. He wasn’t the type who was good with “making friends” or meeting new people for that matter. Especially people who seemed to be the complete opposite of himself on so many levels, which is exactly what Jesse was— _still_ is, actually.

But one way or another, they did become friends. And after some time, they became more than that. _Way more_ than that.

“He also said he likes you, you know.”

Hanzo felt happy hearing his but it was short-lived. It was good that Jesse liked him, sure. It was good progress, all things considered. But it was a far cry from the actual feelings they have both developed for each other. The very feelings that the gunslinger had forgotten.

“We have been meeting in the evenings,” Hanzo finally admitted so as to explain how his and Jesse’s current relationship was even progressing. “We met by chance in the dining hall. We have met every night around the same time since.”

“Is it…” Genji started hesitatingly and he backtracked on his words. “Are you two…?”

Hanzo was quick to shake his head and he thought he saw his brother’s shoulders raise a little then sag right back down, indicating he had sighed—with relief, Hanzo guessed—although never making a sound.

“It is nothing like that. We just talk about normal things. Mostly about you since you are really the only thing we have in common right now.” Hanzo lowered his head into his palms and ran them over his face slowly, stopping only when his fingertips were over his chin. “Genji…I really want things to go back to normal.”

If he were to admit, Hanzo thought it was nice that he was finally spending time with Jesse again. Even just talking to him filled Hanzo’s heart with a happiness that it hadn’t seen or felt since the day Jesse got injured.

Jesse was alive and by his side. That was all that mattered after all…at least, for now. Hanzo knew it was only a matter of time when he wouldn’t be able to take their current “friendship” any longer. He already knew, from that longing feeling at the pit of his stomach that was trying to reach out to Jesse every time they met for that short half-hour at night, that he was going to break if this went on for too long.

Genji already had his visor on his face so Hanzo couldn’t see the expression he was making. But from the comforting pat on the back he was giving Hanzo, it wasn’t hard to imagine the sympathetic look on his brother’s face. Sympathy…and probably concern too.

“Do not worry,” Hanzo reassured him with a small but very sad smile. “I agreed with Angela’s suggestion remember? I will not tell Jesse about anything…not until the time is right. I, of all people, will make sure of that.”

* * *

#### DAY 6

Hanzo stared at him, frozen.

What should he do? Jesse was right there, standing some feet away from him.

He hasn’t spoken to him since the day of that wretched mission a month or so ago. The last time he had seen the cowboy, he was comatose with beeping machines hooked up to him in various places, trying to monitor his vitals or otherwise trying to keep him alive, and before that still…they were in an obliterated street in Guatemala, dead omnics strewn about the pavement and nearby rooftops of broken buildings.

Still staring at Jesse, he nodded a little too stiffly for his liking.

“Hello,” he finally greeted back.

“The name’s Jesse McCree. I don’t think we’ve met before?”

Hanzo felt his heart shatter into a million pieces from those kindly-spoken words. Jesse was looking at him with that usual charming smile of his and Hanzo wanted nothing more than wipe that oblivious expression on his face with a searing kiss. He would. Normally, he would. But he can’t.

They stared at each other for a while. Judging from how his eyes seemed to rake over Hanzo’s form, he knew the man was appraising him. He had to try and hide the small smile threatening to escape his lips. The last time Jesse had looked at him from head to toe, it was with a look filled with lust rather than curiosity. And it had happened within the confines of his bedroom, on top of already dirtied sheets and with him _and_ Jesse very much naked.

“No, we have not,” Hanzo said, trying to keep his mind focused on the present. On reality. His new and very depressing reality. “Hanzo Shimada,” he introduced as naturally as he could with what he hoped was a more natural nod this time.

“Shimada? You Genji’s family?”

“He is my brother, yes. He invited me into Overwatch a little while ago.”

The alarm on Jesse’s face when he said this was apparent and Hanzo was forcefully taken back to the first time he had said the exact same words to the exact same man. Jesse had a similar reaction back then too.

“Right,” he said with an understanding nod of his head which inwardly made Hanzo smile. He was the same kindhearted and understanding man as he was when they first met. This made him happy as much as it made him miserable.

 _Kindhearted, understanding…and no longer mine…_ he thought depressingly as he took a sip from his mug of still-warm tea.

He tried his hardest not to follow Jesse with his eyes as he walked somewhere behind him and did whatever he was doing. It sounded like he was making a cup of coffee which made little sense to Hanzo. It was nearly midnight and he was drinking coffee now? Did he want to stay up even longer?

“Should you be taking in so much caffeine at this time of night?” he couldn’t help but ask when he heard the tell-tale sound of the man gulping down his drink. He finally allowed himself to turn and look at him. “You will have trouble sleeping.”

“I’m already havin’ trouble sleepin’, darlin’.”

God, he missed him… his deep baritone voice… that Southern twang… the ridiculous pet names… all of it. All of _him_.

Hanzo tried to shake such thoughts from his head.

“Is it…is it your head injury?”

“Even you know about that, huh?”

“Everyone does…” he mumbled. His feelings were really conflicted at the moment. He was glad to finally be talking to Jesse again after so long. But right now, they were talking like they had just met. Like strangers.

“So, what do you do Hanzo?” Jesse asked and Hanzo could literally feel his heart flutter at the sound of his name coming out of the man’s lips. He couldn’t help it. For quite some time, he had been convinced that he would never hear this man speak again after all. Let alone say his name.

Hanzo watched Jesse as he settled himself at his table and was grateful that he was actually staying to talk.

“You don’t mind if I call you that, yeah? Considerin’ you and Genji have the same surname. It kinda feels weird if I call you ‘Shimada’.”

“It is fine.” _More than fine._ “And what do you mean what do I do?”

“Well, ya joined Overwatch. Everyone who’s in this ragtag group is at least real good at somethin’ or another.”

“A variety of things. Archery, mostly.”

“Archery? Like, a bow and arrow…that kinda thing?”

Hanzo tried not to laugh. Again, he was reacting in the same way he had the very first time Jesse learned about these things about him back then.

“Yes, that ‘kinda thing’,” he said and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

On the outside, Hanzo might look calm, even normal. But on the inside, he was anything but. The more he looked at Jesse, the more he spoke to him, the more Hanzo felt his happiness growing and slowly overcome the side that was determined to keep him depressed.

 _You’re alive,_ Hanzo thought, still looking at Jesse with a smile on his face. _You’re alive. Thank you for being alive._

* * *

#### DAY 1

The sky was a cloudless blue and the sun was beating down upon them all without mercy. It was hot, sweltering. And yet…

Hanzo looked down as another round of laughter reached his ears from his perch. He was seated on the ledge of a three-story building in the middle of the once evacuated city, watching as children played on the street just below him. It has only been a month since the omnics attacked but it looked so different. As if he wasn’t in the same place at all. Yet the last time he was here, there was nothing but chaos and destruction with only the sounds of gunfire and explosions reverberating through the air.

_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_

_The sound of the six quick and consecutive shots that he knew only one person could manage made Hanzo turn around, just as he pulled out his arrow from the massive humanoid omnic’s throat._

_He had been caught by surprise when the machine dashed at him from beneath his feet. It had come charging through the ceiling of the building he was on and shot out of the roof. Luckily enough, Hanzo hadn’t shot the arrow he had already nocked and was quick to pull it out. After a quick scuffle, he deftly dug the arrow’s head into the omnic’s weak point, reducing it into a pile of unmoving metal._

Waste not, _he thought as he nocked the arrow back into his bow and looked around him. He counted the six omnics around him that were dead not from his arrows, but from six precisely aimed headshots. Two had bullets lodged into their heads, the other four only holes as the bullets that had hit them had gone through. Jesse’s work of course. Only he could hit that many targets with that kind of aim and in such quick succession._

_Hanzo didn’t even realize that the now-dead omnics had gotten that close to him. He had been too busy brawling with the one that caught him off guard. He couldn’t help the little smile that was now playing at the corners of his lips as he looked up and scanned for Jesse._

_It didn’t take long. He was easy to spot with that red serape of his. The Stetson too._

_Jesse was looking up towards him from two streets below. Grinning and a trail of smoke was seeping through the barrel of his still-raised revolver. Despite their distance, Hanzo could see the slight wince the cowboy had on his face (he wasn’t a sniper for nothing after all) though he was clearly trying not to let it show. The usual side-effect from using his Deadeye too often, too soon. Hanzo knew he had already used it earlier that evening, during the initial attack when their team was caught by surprise by the sheer amount of omnics that had invaded the city._

_He made a little disapproving expression on his face, to at least show Jesse that he did not want him to do something so reckless again, especially not for Hanzo’s sake. But he also gave him a little smile to show his thanks._

_Then it happened._

_One moment Jesse was right there, standing in the middle of the street, tall and ruggedly handsome as ever. And the next? Gone._

_Hanzo was looking straight at him when it happened. When the massive humanoid omnic about the size of Reinhardt in his armor (even slightly bigger than that) came barreling down the street out of nowhere and caught Jesse from the side. It knocked Jesse off his feet as it continued forwards, carrying the gunslinger with it until the pair of them disappeared from his line of sight._

_“JESSE!!!” Hanzo shouted in horror._

“Hanzo…”

_He jumped down from the building he was on to the one next to it which was a story shorter. A few more omnics were already there, positioned to fire with their guns pointed towards him._

_Arrows flew, fast, hard, and on point._

“Hanzo…”

_He was sprinting down the street where Jesse had been standing earlier, and followed the path in the direction the omnic had rocketed down with the cowboy._

“Hanzo?”

_It didn’t take long to find them._

_They had stopped, further down the street he was on where it ended in a fork._

_There they were. The omnic had its back turned towards Hanzo as it faced its prey who was currently pinned between a thick concrete wall decorated with colorful graffiti._

_Hanzo ran faster as he watched the omnic raise its hand which was made of multiple gun barrels and held it right in front of Jesse’s chest._

_“JESSE!!” Hanzo shouted again._

_He thanked all the gods in the world that his voice had distracted the omnic enough to make it turn around to look at him._

_Hanzo raised Storm Bow and shot the already pulled arrow. He watched it lodge into the omnic’s arm joint between his arm and the gun._

_Momentary relief flooded into him as the gun dropped loosely to its side, and away from Jesse._

_A kind of angry noise escaped from the omnic but it was cut off. Hanzo had shot two more arrows in quick succession. One into the joint on the opposite arm just between its shoulder and left arm. The other, straight into the back of its neck._

_The omnic wobbled in place a bit. Its legs getting shaky and its head twitching left and right as its circuits were starting to malfunction._

_Hanzo picked up even more speed before throwing his body into the highest jump he and his enhanced leg armor could manage. He didn’t let his eyes leave the omnic and watched as the machine crumbled underneath the force of his weight when he landed on its shoulders and pushed it down to the ground._

_He was breathing heavily by the time he straightened himself back up. Shooting one last menacing look of contempt at the broken pieces of mechanized junk beneath him, he finally directed his attention towards Jesse._

_One look, and he already knew it was bad._

_He could feel his blood drain, leaving not only his face but his entire body_

_“Jesse!” he shouted for who knows how many times now._

_Jesse was still on the wall, stuck within from the force that drove him into it and a crater of broken concrete was formed around his body. His right leg was bent in a way it shouldn’t be bent, his chest plate was heavily dented, his prosthetic…almost completely torn off with only a few internal wires keeping them connected to the rest of his arm._

_But what made Hanzo’s insides shake with anger, horror, and grief was the blood. There was a_ lot _of blood. It was all over Jesse’s clothes, nearly soaking through every visible surface. Hanzo could even see it staining his serape, making the red impossibly darker._

_“Hngg…”_

_Hanzo’s eyes shot up from Jesse’s chest where blood oozed not only over it but also underneath the plate and up to his face._

_“Jesse?”_

_He quickly shot forward and ran his fingertips lightly on the cowboy’s cheek. He wanted to pull him off the damned wall but he was also afraid he’d worsen the damage already done on him. It looked bad enough as it is._

_“Jesse McCree can you hear me?!” Hanzo spoke again._

_The man in front of him was still limp. His eyes were still closed._

_“Jesse, I swear to God if you’re…you’re…” the word refused to leave his lips. “Jesse, please open your eyes!”_

_By some miracle, Jesse did just that._

_Jesse’s eyes slowly opened at his command and he was looking right at Hanzo. Though whether or not he actually saw him was another matter entirely. His gaze was directed towards him but it didn’t look too focused. But still…he opened them. Still, he’s alive._

_“Oh, thank God…” Hanzo said in relief and a smile finally graced his face. “Stay with me okay? Where does it hurt the most? C-Can you speak?”_

_Jesse didn’t reply. He didn’t even move his mouth. He simply stared at Hanzo with those beautiful honey irises of his._

_But even that didn’t last long._

_Before he knew it, Jesse’s eyes had closed shut again._

_“Jesse? Jesse!!” Hanzo shouted, frantic once more._

_Jesse’s head lolled forward and the weight of it made the broken pieces of concrete around him crumble and fall to the ground. The movement and weight were too much for it._

_Hanzo brought his arms up and caught Jesse just as his entire body fell forward towards him._

_“Jesse,” he said again. He had to keep him awake. If he was conscious then it’ll be less likely for him to succumb to his injuries. If he was awake—_

_Hanzo’s train of thought cut off right then and there when his eyes landed on the human-shaped crater on the wall._

_There was so much blood._ Too much _blood. If he thought there was a lot of blood on Jesse’s clothes, there was even more that stained the wall. And nearly all of it originated from the spot where Jesse’s head was._

_Lowering himself to the ground slowly with Jesse, Hanzo knelt on the ground and rested Jesse’s face against his lap. He was initially amazed that the cowboy’s Stetson had somehow stayed on his head through the entire ordeal but now Hanzo understood why. The hat was soaked through with blood. The red mixed with the brown and had nearly dyed the entire thing into a burgundy color. And when Hanzo pulled on it from the back of Jesse’s head, he could hear a kind of squelching sound and dark strings of blood formed between the hat and his scalp._

“Hanzo?”

 _“Jesse…oh God,” he choked out when he saw the gravity of his head injury. Hanzo couldn’t even see it entirely with Jesse’s blood-soaked hair covering the actual wound but he saw enough to know that he needed to get him medical attention._ Now _._

_Feeling like a complete idiot, Hanzo’s hand shot up to his ear, to the surface of the small communicator he forgot he even had on. Everything had happened so fast and his mind was only on Jesse and reaching the cowboy as fast as he could that he didn’t even think about calling the others for help._

_“This is Hanzo, can anyone hear me?!”_

“HANZO!!”

His head snapped to the side and was met with both Genji and Zenyatta looking at him.

“Are you okay?” Genji asked.

Hanzo looked around him and realized that it wasn’t night time and he wasn’t in a darkened, partially blown-up street. It was a clear sunny morning and he was sitting on the ledge of a building with his legs dangling over the edge.

Shaking his head and breathing in a large gulp of air, he turned back to his brother.

“I am fine.”

He couldn’t see Genji’s face over his visor and Zenyatta’s face was the same as it usually was seeing as he wasn’t capable of making expressions.

“My master came looking for me. He said you looked troubled and you could not hear him when he tried calling for you earlier.”

Hanzo opened his mouth to reassure his brother but thought better of it. There was no point lying to him when he already knew the truth.

Genji was there— _here_. He had been here in Guatemala on that mission and he saw exactly how Hanzo had reacted at the time. He was the first one who met up with Hanzo after his call for help over the communicator and he was the only one who _really_ understood Hanzo’s actions after Jesse had been taken away. He saw all that. Of course Genji already knew what was bothering him.

“I was just thinking…about that day,” Hanzo admitted.

His brother didn’t say anything to this. Instead, he turned to Zenyatta and was telling him something Hanzo didn’t really hear. He wasn’t trying to listen at any rate.

Some minutes later, Zenyatta had floated away and was headed towards who-knows-where and Genji had taken a seat on the ledge next to him. He still didn’t say anything, but just sat there. A warm and reassuring presence, available for Hanzo should he want to talk.

But Hanzo didn’t want to trouble his brother more than he already had. He even got Zenyatta involved too.

The three of them were back in Guatemala at Hanzo’s request. Rather, his _insistence_. He had been thinking about coming back here two weeks into their arrival at Gibraltar, when he heard from Angela that Jesse was breathing on his own, recovering steadily and was going to be off most of the machines soon. Hanzo wanted to come back to make sure that all the omnics in the area really were eradicated and the reactivated-omnium really destroyed to the point of no return…that and he wanted to see the extent of the devastation that he, in the unstable state that he was in, had caused and inflicted. They weren’t able to do so considering the hurried manner in which they left the city the last time.

Winston had insisted that it wasn’t necessary. The local authorities had made their report to the country’s central government who in turn reported to the UN about what transpired that day and the UN had relayed details to Winston. No civilian casualties, all renegade omnics exterminated, omnium now out of commission.

This mollified Hanzo a little but when he got the news about Jesse’s amnesia and that Angela had put him into a medically-induced coma. He couldn’t take it. He had to leave. He had to do _something_.

When he brought this up with Winston, asking if he could have some time off. The ape was quick to shoot him down. Winston understood of course. He understood that Hanzo was merely looking for a means to escape the wretched reality in which Jesse doesn’t even know he existed, which was probably why he sent him on this “mission” to Guatemala with Genji and Zenyatta as his babysitters—one strong enough to stop Hanzo from doing anything stupid, and one capable of providing healing and emergency medical care if anything should happen that would require Genji to take him down in some way.

Hanzo knew that Winston had only even allowed this return to Guatemala because he couldn’t send Hanzo into a _real_ mission just yet and he didn’t think him stable enough to get time off on his own either.

So, here they were. They had ten days. Ten days in Guatemala to help the local citizenry rebuild their livelihood as best as they could and also to check for themselves if the danger really is gone.

Considering its already been a month since the incident, there was no doubt in Hanzo’s—and most likely the rest’s—mind that the danger the omnium posed really was gone. But he didn’t question it and accepted the mission gratefully. It was ten whole days of being able to think about and consider his present situation with Jesse without distraction (and temptation at wanting to run to his side the very moment he wakes up) after all.

“Genji…”

“Hmm?”

Another round of laughter reached his ears and Hanzo looked towards the children again.

“I am glad no one was hurt…” he said, his voice quite small.

Genji followed his line of sight and Hanzo could see him nod from the corner of his eye.

“As I am.”

“What I did that night. If it happens again, I need you to stop me by any means nece—” he stopped talking when he felt Genji’s hand on his shoulder.

“If it happens again,” Genji said, his voice light but firm as his grip, “I will understand why it did.”

Hanzo’s head whipped around as he frowned at him.

“I _will_ stop you if needed,” he added reassuringly. “But I am saying that I will also understand. I could have stopped you that night, but I did not.”

“You should have.”

“I should have,” Genji agreed. “But I also knew that _you_ needed for it to happen. You needed an outlet, Hanzo.”

“An innocent city and its people _cannot_ be an outlet for me to release my fury. If the city had not been evacuated beforehand, if there had even been one person in the city when I…when I…” Hanzo couldn’t find the words as images of that very night began to invade his thoughts.

The collective screeching of omnics as their circuits were twisted into destruction…the chain of explosions that followed…the deafening cries of two gargantuan dragons echoing in the air…

“But the city was evacuated,” Genji countered calmly. “You heard the reports, no civilian casualties. Not only that, but what you did finished up our job quicker than it would have taken had you not done what you did.”

Hanzo didn’t look any happier when he said this and Genji could only sigh which only sounded like static through his armor.

“Look, I am not saying you should do something like that again, especially considering the strain it would put on you for summoning the dragons of _that_ magnitude. But I am saying, that if anything does happen—and I sincerely hope nothing does—that would force you to repeat your actions of that night, then I will only stop you if necessary. You were unstable. If you had not let out a portion of your frustrations through the twins then who knows what would have happened in the transport ship on our way back. You could have easily blasted all of us out of the sky en route to Gibraltar!”

Although this statement wasn’t an exaggeration since Hanzo really is capable of doing such a thing (then again, so is Genji and their other more “explosive” members), he gave his brother a look which clearly said “Even in my most unstable state of mind, I would never do anything like that”.

“Okay, you would not have,” Genji amended and Hanzo could hear the smile in his voice before he became somber again. “But as I was saying…if things do play out similarly to that night with no civilians in sight, a city full of dangerous omnics on the loose, and with little time for us to work with left, then no, I will not stop you.”

He gave Hanzo’s shoulder another squeeze.

“You did good Hanzo. You might have destroyed quite a few buildings and houses in the process, what with the destroyed omnics blowing up all over the place when the twins got to them, you still did good. Even the people are not complaining about their destroyed property. They all think it was collateral damage from our efforts at fighting off the omnics…which, technically, is true. And anyway, isn’t that why we’re here now? To help them rebuild?”

Hanzo gave a little nod at this.

“Then there you have it!” Genji said in a happier tone now as he patted Hanzo on the back and got up to his feet. “Now, let us head back. We only have six days left until our transport picks us up. We cannot just waste time sitting and doing nothing after promising to help out. According to Jack, us helping out here even after all the fighting is over will be a good chance to build a ‘better image’ for Overwatch. So, let us make the most of this opportunity. Master said the local animal shelter had asked for our help to do some heavy lifting. Let us go and see if they need any more hands.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed it already, this chapter tells the story from Hanzo's perspective and is done so backwards, rewinding the days from the previous chapter which is why I've been labeling the days as the story went on.
> 
> I hope it hasn't been _too_ confusing. This is actually the first time I've attempted writing in this way.
> 
> Also, I edited the tags. I took out the characters who don't really have any real lines/actual presence in this story. They're still there, only they're in the background so I guess they don't necessarily need to be tagged. I also took away some of the explicit tags and simply replaced them with "Explicit Sexual Content" (which I think explains things better) and changed the fic's rating from "Mature" to "Explicit". Sorry about that, like I said I'm new to AO3 and I also just suck at categorizing and tagging appropriately. LOL
> 
> Oh, and thank you for all the comments and kudos! They're very much appreciated~ ( ´ ▽ ` )


	3. Our Past

#### THE DAY IT ALL ENDED

While readjusting his glove, Hanzo stole a glance towards Jesse’s direction.

He was seated at the table on one corner of the transport ship, just across from where Hanzo stood, rechecking his stock of stun grenades and his pouch of spare bullets for Peacekeeper.

As if sensing his gaze, he raised his head and found Hanzo immediately.

A crooked—and partially suggestive—smile immediately found itself spread across his ruggedly handsome face as they looked at each other.

Hanzo rolled his eyes but even he couldn’t help his own smile from forming. His cowboy’s smiles were always so contagious.

“Yeah, eww…get a room you two,” said Hana who was seated beside Jesse. Her voice was so loud that Hanzo was sure everyone heard her but they paid her little mind. They too were preparing their own gear in various areas of the ship.

Jesse was forced to tear his gaze from Hanzo to look at Hana. The two of them ended up having their own short staring contest until it was broken by Jesse who caught her in a headlock and was now poking a finger into her cheek.

“What’d you say? You lil’ hell raiser,” Jesse asked as Hana began to laugh.

“I said, go get a r— _hahahahah!!!_ ”

Hana couldn’t get her words out as Jesse was now tickling her with his free hand while keeping her in place with one arm around her neck.

Hanzo watched the pair and rolled his eyes once again, a smile still lingering on the corners of his lips.

* * *

The trip to Central America didn’t take long. One of the pluses you get for being in an organization like Overwatch. Everything they had was top-of-the-line, including of course, their transport ship which had functions even a hypersonic jet didn’t have. This was to be expected of course. They were, after all the first-responders to worldwide crises. They had to have the means to get to various locations no matter how far they may be and in the least amount of time possible.

It took no more than 4.5 hours for them to reach Guatemala from their base in Gibraltar. They would’ve saved half an hour of that time too if they hadn’t slowed down considerably when they were flying somewhere over Cuba. But they had to so they could prepare whatever equipment they might need for the mission before landing.

“Where exactly are we?” Hana inquired as she stood in front of the ship’s main gate which also functioned as a ramp when lowered.

Jesse, Hanzo, Genji, and Lúcio all came up behind her and looked out the reinforced glass.

There was nothing to be seen save for tall trees, bushes, and various flora and fauna. It looked like a forest.

 _“In a rainforest located three miles east of the city,”_ came Athena’s voice from overhead speakers. _“We have not received the all clear just yet. Local authorities are still in the middle of evacuation.”_

“What about the omnics though? Thought they already invaded the city?” Jesse asked, a frown on his face. What was the point of waiting around when the fighting had already begun?

 _“The police with the help of the military have set up a blockade to the south, between the city and the reactivated omnium,”_ she replied promptly.

Just then a beeping sound could be heard from the cockpit of the ship. It was low and barely audible from where they were but it mattered little. The entire ship was run by Athena, with Winston constantly monitoring their progress from the base. She dealt with the beeping as she did the entire trip there which had been controlled by her. It would have been better—rather, _ideal_ to have an actual pilot at the helm (Lena had been just that for all their missions for a while) but with how few there were of them in the “new” Overwatch, they had to make the necessary adjustments. Lena was the only one qualified for the job and they simply couldn’t have her do all the piloting for _every_ mission especially with how many they’ve been having ever since the Petras Act had been withdrawn by the UN.

So, with Lena’s piloting expertise as reference, Winston’s overall ingenuity and extra help from the tech-savvy Mei and Satya, they developed a program for Athena that allowed for her to run the transport ships and all its functions without having to have Lena physically pilot the vessel and man its controls every time. It was like an advanced (and far more reliable) form of autopilot.

 _“Agents.”_ The voice that rang through the ship this time wasn’t the AI’s but Winston’s. _“Please gather around the holostation.”_

Everyone shuffled around until all seven members present stood around the long table which was currently projecting a hologram of the Earth as it circled its axis. The image quickly disappeared, however, and was now replaced by a 3D holographic map the shape of a deformed peanut. The bottom surface was flat while the top which depicted Guatemala City’s buildings were of varying heights.

“Are we covering the entire city?” Lúcio asked, eyes wide at the sheer size of it.

In answer to his question, the map zoomed into the south and south eastern area of the city which comprised of both commercial and residential (mostly condo) buildings.

 _“This is where the blockade is located,”_ Athena spoke up and a crooked line lit up on the map which stretched through several streets. _“The first  group of omnics were located here, here, and here…”_

All the agents were quiet and rapt with attention as both Athena and Winston took turns to speak and relay the finer details of their mission.

It was quite simple, really. As with all their other missions that involved renegade out-of-control omnics, they simply needed to annihilate the machines before they do any harm to the public. Destroy them as well as the omnium that was producing them. And if they can, look for clues as to who was behind it. Should they ever find anyone who needed their help while they do their job from civilians to police or military, then they will provide aid with them as their top priority.

By the time they finished debriefing, Winston announced that the UN has given him the all clear for Overwatch to head in—much to the glee of the restless Hana and Reinhardt.

 _“I wish you all luck,”_ were his final words before the call cut off and they were all left to shuffle around once more to get ready to leave.

“Bet’cha I can take down more omnics than you,” Hana said with a grin to Lúcio.

“Oh you are _on_ ,” the DJ replied before skating down the ramp without so much as a backwards glance.

“Ah, wait! I didn’t say we’re starting _now_!” she called after him as she too ran down the ramp in her skintight suit, her blaster holstered to her thigh. With a single press of a button at her wrist, a rumbling could be heard from some other part of the ship and in an instant, a hissing, then something pink and large came shooting out from the sky before it landed right in front of her.

Angela, Reinhardt, Genji, Jesse, and Hanzo all watched as she jumped into her mech before rocketing after Lúcio into the rainforest. Her progress tore through multiple trees and shrubbery which effectively created a large path for the rest of them to follow and also now gave them a proper view of the city below. They had all thought they were quite a ways away but apparently not. Athena had parked the ship on top of a hill on the outskirts of the city which still allowed for them to have a respectable view of the general area where they’ll be working.

“At least you won’t be too far off,” Jesse told Angela who huffed in return.

Ever since they started travelling with autopilot, it had also since been decided that they should leave at least one member behind to watch over the ship and pose as the go-between for the agents on the field and to the ones monitoring them from base.

This time, it was Angela.

“Remember, don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything,” she reminded as she tapped a slender finger into her right ear. “But don’t be reckless either.”

The rest of them nodded.

Jesse pressed on the device inside his own ear. “You heard the doc, right squirt?”

 _“Who you calling ‘squirt’?!”_ came Hana’s affronted reply through the communicator which was shortly followed by Lúcio’s laughter.

* * *

“I will take the high ground. Let us separate here.”

Jesse looked up towards the tallest building nearest them which was a five-story apartment complex some streets down from where they currently were.

Hanzo was looking at the same building too which confirmed to him that that was the place the archer thought about setting up.

“I’ll see ya later then, sugar.”

“Watch your back and please do not be reckless,” Hanzo told him with a knowing look.

Jesse couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Cross my heart and hope to—”

He never got to finish his sentence as Hanzo’s palm pressed against his lips.

“Do not say something like that,” he said with a frown. “Especially not right before a potentially dangerous mission.”

With raised brows, Jesse pulled away Hanzo’s hand and laced his fingers through his own.

“You heard what Winston and Athena said. The reactivated omnium is smaller than others. We shouldn’t be up against that many omnics and the police already stopped quite a bit o’ them too.”

Hanzo sighed.

“This is precisely what I mean by—”

But it was Hanzo’s turn to stop in the middle of speaking. Though in his case, he stopped himself without interruption from the cowboy.

He had just heard _something_ not too far away.

With a finger raised to his own lips to direct silence at Jesse, Hanzo strained his ears.

There really was a sound but he couldn’t make heads or tails to what it was exactly. It sounded like a car engine nearing its final days…or one of Torbjörn’s odd inventions that he likes to keep displayed around his workshop at the base.

Beside him, judging by the face he was making, Jesse seemed to realize what it was.

“Let’s go,” he said, his tone now serious as he pulled on Hanzo by the hand that was still tightly clasped with his own.

They darted up the street for a while until Jesse pulled him into a dark alleyway. The sun was already setting and it gave them decent cover though from what, Hanzo had no clue.

He watched as Jesse made quick work with pulling out Peacekeeper and rechecking the chamber before releasing the safety.

“Jesse?”

But Jesse didn’t answer him. Instead, he looked up and pointed a finger upwards above them.

“Get goin’,” he said with a nod to Hanzo. “We’re about to be overrun. Ya better start lettin’ loose of your arrows.”

“What are you talking about?” There wasn’t even a sign of a single omnic so far.

“Gut feelin’,” Jesse replied simply with a grin.

Hanzo wanted nothing more than to roll his eyes at him but he didn’t get a chance as Jesse gave him a particularly rough tug, making him lose balance momentarily until Hanzo’s chest collided with his chest plate.

“What—”

Jesse really did cut him off this time and he did so with his lips.

Bewildered, Hanzo’s eyes widened as he stared at Jesse’s bright honey-brown gaze right in front of him. He didn’t even get to respond to the kiss as the gunslinger had pulled away from him before he even realized what it was he was doing.

“Love you,” he said with a cheeky grin.

Hanzo opened his mouth and closed it again like a fish out of water. Feeling quite awkward and embarrassed, he settled with slapping a hand on Jesse’s arm instead which earned him a chuckle and one more kiss on the cheek before Jesse finally let him go and began walking back out into the street.

Before he could round the corner, however…

“Jesse,” Hanzo said, making the cowboy turn to him again. “I love you too.”

That lopsided smile of his appeared on his face again as he shot Hanzo a wink.

This time Hanzo really did roll his eyes.

With a chuckle, Jesse proceeded to exit the alleyway, his serape whipping behind him in a haze of red.

Shaking his head and his own smile playing on his lips, Hanzo placed a hand on the surface of the building wall to get a feel for it. It wasn’t perfectly smooth but this suited him just fine. It made for easier climbing.

He slung Storm Bow over his torso and quickly made the climb with experienced ease. The building was only two-stories high which didn’t take long for him to scale.

It was when he reached the edge of the roof and climbed over it with secure footing that he heard it.

_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Six loud consecutive shots rang through the air nearby and Hanzo knew it was Jesse and he knew he had just used Deadeye. Although fanning Peacekeeper's hammer made a similar sound, Hanzo had since learned to distinguish that from his more unique ability and the sound just now was definitely his Deadeye.

But why had he used it so early on? Usually Jesse reserved the special move for emergency situations.

Without hesitation, Hanzo crossed the rooftop until he reached the side which overlooked the street Jesse had departed to.

The sight that met him made his eyes widen and quickly remove Storm Bow from his person to just as quickly nock a scatter arrow.

Minutes earlier, the street had been empty of life save for himself and Jesse. But now… now it was filled with omnics of varying sizes and in _great_ numbers. There were _at least_  a hundred gathered there in the narrow street.

Where did they come from?!

Although he and Jesse expected omnics to show up where they were assigned, they expected two or three to show up at a time. Because if they showed up there, it meant that they had gotten past the blockade as well as Reindhardt, Hana, and Lúcio who were taking a stance in front of them. Even Genji—who was tasked with the most tiring job of circling around the entire area in intervals for stray omnics—would’ve spotted a horde of this magnitude.

But judging by the present look of things, it looked like there was nothing that tried to stop this group at all. They were all pristine, with no injuries. Clearly nothing had tried to stop them before they reached Hanzo and Jesse’s area.

Hanzo tore his gaze from the moving mass to look for Jesse. His red serape caught his eyes and he located him in another alleyway on the opposite side of the street.

The omnics were closing in on where he hid and the ones walking up front were clearly looking around in search for the cause of the recent attack.

Not needing to think twice, Hanzo pulled on the string of his bow and released the arrow right into the middle of the group. As soon as the arrowhead collided with the sidewalk he was aiming for, it broke apart and small arrow-like bullets burst from it. He watched for a moment as they bounced around, hitting omnics as it went.

He counted at least four omnics that were properly incapacitated by the shot before he nocked another arrow.

A good number of the machines were already looking up towards him, all with their guns already directed towards him too.

_BAM!_

A different type of sound echoed in the street near the head of the group of omnics and he knew it was one of Jesse’s stun grenades.

Hanzo released another scatter shot into the street below just as Jesse rolled out of the alleyway and began emptying the chamber of his gun into the heads of the omnics closest to him.

“Over hear you pile o’ scrap metal!!” he shouted.

Exasperated that the cowboy didn’t heed his warning—he told him not even 10 minutes ago, not to be reckless—Hanzo clicked his tongue before he let loose another arrow.

* * *

_“This is Hanzo, can anyone hear me?!”_

Hana pressed a button on her headphones to switch on the mic to her communicator as soon as she heard his voice. Something bad happened. She could already tell from the panicked and urgent tone in his words which was very uncharacteristic of the usually cool and calm archer.

“Agent D.Va here. I can hear you loud and clear,” she replied before activating her mech’s thrusters and shooting up into the sky before landing on the nearest building rooftop.

 _“We hear ya, did something happen?”_ came Lúcio’s voice too and she could hear the telltale sound of his sonic amplifier beating out pulses in the background.

 _“Agent McCree is down. I need assistance…_ immediately. _”_

Hana stopped spraying bullets down the omnic-infested street below her.

 _“Jes—Agent McCree is down?”_ she confirmed just to be extra sure that she heard right.

 _“Where are you?”_ This time it was Angela.

_“Zone Fourteen, at the end of One-Nine Avanza Street. I need—”_

_“I am close by. I will be there in less than five minutes,”_ said Genji.

Without a second thought, Hana activated her mech’s holoprojector (which she mainly used for games during boring missions) and changed the display to a map of the city. After quickly typing in a few commands, tiny dots appeared on the map of all the agents’ current positions thanks to their communicator’s built-in GPS system.

The tiny dots with the labels “H.” and “M.” were right on top of each other several streets northwest of her current position and she could see the “G.” dot closing in on them quickly.

Hana typed in several more commands and more dots appeared all over the map. This time in red instead of blue which indicated hostiles.

There weren’t that many near Hanzo and Jesse but they had a fight set for them if they wanted to leave the area they were in.

“I’ll clear a path for you guys,” she informed them over the communicator before shooting micro-missiles right below her towards the several omnics that were scaling up the side of the building she was on.

* * *

By the time Hana had finished clearing four streets worth of stray omnics, she had since met up with Lúcio and Reinhardt who had both taken instructions from Athena for the right way to go.

The three had met up just as they saw three figures move in towards them from the direction they all knew their companions would come from.

Their progress was slow and it was clear why without them having to see it properly. Two of the figures were hauling a third between them and apparently as carefully as they could without jostling him too much.

When they were near enough, they saw the extent of the damage done on Jesse. He was bloodied up from head to toe from his Stetson all the way down to the spurs of his boots.

Hana’s eyes widened in horror at the sight of him, as did Reinhardt who was just as paralyzed beside her. Lúcio, on the other hand, was quick to skate forward and just as quick to switch around the settings of his Crossfade suit. He speed-boosted himself to the trio before switching right back to a healing tune as soon as he was in range.

The group of three stopped moving when Lúcio reached them and the sound medic made quick work of inspecting Jesse before turning around and calling Hana over for help.

Shaking her head, she did so and used her thrusters to close their distance with Reinhardt clunking along in his heavy armor behind her.

“D.Va,” he began, looking seriously at Hana while she looked down at Jesse’s unconscious body laid out on the asphalt with his head resting on Hanzo’s lap. The archer himself was bent over him and was repeatedly chanting his name of “Jesse…Jesse…Jesse…” like a prayer.

[ x ](http://fav.me/dc9gqgp)

“Y-Yes?” she replied, tearing her gaze from the pair to look at Lúcio.

“We’ll need your mech to get McCree to Mercy. You can carry two people on top, right?”

Hana nodded her head mutely. As long as said people were of average size (and not giants like Reinhardt), her mech could manage it.

“I’ll go with you so we can get back faster and so I can steady McCree on top,” he said before turning to Reinhardt.

“Leave it to me,” the crusader said with uncharacteristic seriousness that reflected in his voice as well as his face. Seeing this only drove home to Hana how serious the situation was.

“Hanzo,” came Genji’s voice as he knelt down next to Hanzo. “Let go of McCree so Reinhardt can get him on D.Va’s mech.”

But Hanzo didn’t listen. Or rather, by the looks of it, he didn’t hear. The archer was still bent over Jesse, their foreheads nearly touching as he held the cowboy’s face between his hands.

“Brother…” he tried again, this time shaking him by the shoulder slightly.

Nothing.

“ _Anija!_ ” Genji said in a louder and sterner tone.

Hanzo looked like he was jolted with electricity and he sat up straight before turning to Genji who nodded at him.

Everyone could see the realization sinking into him from the expression on his face and Hanzo turned to Reinhardt before nodding jerkily.

Reinhardt knelt down and scooped up Jesse with as much care as he could with Genji assisting by keeping Jesse’s head from bending back too much.

“Hana?”

This time, it was Hana who had to nod jerkily back as she lowered the head of her mech as far as it could go.

Carefully, Reinhardt laid Jesse on top and Genji rested Jesse’s head on top of his own blood-soaked hat.

“Right, let’s go,” Lúcio said as he hopped on top of the mech right behind Jesse. “Don’t worry, Hanzo, we’ll—”

But he cut off when he realized that Hanzo had disappeared. The archer was no longer on the ground.

Hana looked around as did everyone else.

“I will go after him,” Genji said with a nod to the group. “Reinhardt, just go with them in case they run into any trouble on the way to the ship.”

Reinhardt nodded.

Without another word, Genji scaled the wall of the building next to them with ease and they all looked up. There, already at the top and apparently raining down arrow after arrow into a street unseen to them, was Hanzo.

* * *

Angela was pacing in front of the already open ramp of the transport ship as she waited for the arrival of her colleagues and friends.

She had already readied her gear as soon as she heard Hanzo’s call for help and was ready to leave the transport to meet them as soon as Lúcio confirmed to her Jesse’s present status after they met up. But the confirmation she received from the sound medic’s initial assessment of Jesse’s present state required for her to stay in the ship and ready _everything_ she had available there and not just her field equipment.

This spoke a great deal to the gravity of the gunslinger’s injuries.

She worked quickly. Setting up a stretcher in the middle of the ship floor with all her medical equipment laid out on the corner table.

Now all she could do was wait and pray that Jesse didn’t need all the things she had set out for him.

“Please be okay,” she mumbled to herself just as she heard the faint sound of rockets.

Angela walked right back to the mouth of the entrance and saw the pink machine in the distance that was growing in size quickly as it made its aerial approach.

When they were close enough for Lúcio’s music, indicating he had his speed boost activated, she quickly stepped out of the way.

Seconds later, Hana’s mech landed at the entrance, right on top of the ramp and Lúcio had immediately switched songs. A yellow glow was now emanating around him in a circle, replacing the green and Angela could feel the calming effect the healing aura produced instead of the frenzied one from the speed boost moments earlier.

Angela performed her own quick assessment of Jesse and she knew she didn’t have a lot of time to work with if she were to save the man from any lasting damages.

“Lúcio, I’ll need a hand,” she instructed as she pushed the stretcher as close to Hana’s mech as possible.

Lúcio understood without another word and he helped Angela slide Jesse’s body as carefully as they could onto the firm mattress of the readied stretcher.

The pair made quick work of removing Jesse’s chest armor and clothes while cleaning up the blood, dirt and other grime from his body.

Hana could only watch on the sidelines. There was nothing she could do. She had no medical training whatsoever. Even if she did insist on helping, she’d only get in the way.

“Damn,” said Lúcio sometime later when he finally removed Jesse’s chaps and jeans. He had used a pair of scissors to cut through it to avoid jostling his broken leg.

These words made Hana look at him and she tried to look over his shoulder from a distance, to see what was so bad that would make Lúcio sound the way he did.

She never got the chance to see, however, when Angela, too, spoke. While Lúcio handled whatever problem he saw with Jesse’s legs, she was in the middle of cleaning up and inspecting his head injury which seemed the most severe. And at the moment, she was muttering something under her breath in rapid German and Hana was quite sure they were curses.

Hana sidled around them until she was now standing behind Angela.

What she saw made her gasp and cover her mouth in horror.

Angela had already cleaned up Jesse’s head. There was a bucket of bloodied water next to her feet which she had used to wash his hair and scalp with. She had even shaved an area around the injury and it was this that horrified Hana. She wasn’t sure if his head had been cracked open but there were a lot of pieces sticking out of Jesse’s wounded scalp and Angela was trying to pry them out of his head where it was lodged in quite deep.

She watched in silence as Angela worked fast. A pair of long tweezers was in her hand and she was using that to pull on the pieces of what looked like pieces of concrete and rock before dropping them into a metal basin set on a steel table cart beside her.

When she pulled out a particularly large one, a lot of blood started to ooze out and it began dripping onto the otherwise clean floor.

Once more, Angela let out a string of German curses before blocking the blood with gauze.

“Should…Should I do something?” Hana finally asked, no longer able to just stand there while Jesse continued to bleed on and over the stretcher. She had to do something. _Anything._

Angela turned to her while keeping a hand on the gauze pressed against Jesse’s head.

She didn’t say something for a while but the look on her face showed that she was trying to think, and fast.

“Yes. Can you call in the others?” Angela said before pulling on the gauze to check the wound. She clicked her tongue after a while before pressing it back on Jesse’s head. “I can’t do this here. I have enough equipment here to maybe stabilize Jesse long enough for our travel back to base but we need to leave as soon as possible to even manage just that. Please call the rest in and get them back, _quickly_.”

Hana nodded before making a run outside and back into her mech.

As soon as she jumped in and activated the machine, she pulled on the controls for the thrusters and once more she was rocketing through the greenery, heading down towards the city. Reinhardt had diverged from her and Lúcio earlier to help a group of police men cornered by omnics but she was fairly sure he wasn’t too far from the transport ship.

“Reinhardt, can you hear me?”

 _“Loud and clear,”_ came the older man’s loud-as-usual voice.

“Mercy said we need to head back to Gibraltar as soon as possible for Jesse, so please head back to the transport ship.”

_“Understood. Are you all there already?”_

“No. I’m on my way to get Genji and Hanzo. They’re farther off so I’ll just carry them back with me on my mech.”

_“Very well. I shall see you all back at the ship.”_

Hana maneuvered through the streets almost gracefully and she was glad she hadn’t run into any omnics. The less of them around the better. She had to get to the brothers and back as fast as possible. She turned on the holoprojector again. The dot labeled “R.” was already heading back in the direction of the ship while the “H.” and “G.” dots were stationary some streets south of her current position. Hana didn’t know why they had gone so far from their initial position earlier but she didn’t ask.

“Hey, you two heard me, right?” she spoke into her mic again. “We need to head back. So, get ready to hop on as soon as I get there. Assuming I don’t run into any omnics, I’ll be at your position in two minutes.”

There was no reply as she said this.

“Hello? Can you two hear me?”

Still, no reply from either Hanzo or Genji.

Clicking her tongue, Hana continued rocketing through the skies, from rooftop to rooftop, until she finally reached the two brothers.

When her mech landed with a particularly loud _thunk_ behind them, Hana was more than a little frustrated. She had thought something happened to them that made them unable to get back to her. Like being overrun by omnics for example.

“Why didn’t you two reply?” she demanded in a shout, not bothering with the communicator anymore as she neared the pair. “I thought you two were—"

But Hana stopped. She stopped speaking and she stopped moving closer towards the pair.

“ _RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WO KURAU!!”_

A burst of blue light erupted in front of her. It was so bright she had to shield her eyes. From the little she could see between her fingers, the light was so immense that it actually lit up the entire night sky as far as she could see.

But it wasn’t the light that bothered her. No. It was the sound that came after this.

“HANZO!” she managed to shout out and only just realizing the _fear_ she currently felt when it was reflected in her own voice.

* * *

“What is going on?” Angela asked, her brows furrowed as she looked outside. The ramp was still down and through it and the cleared trees, down the hill, she could see bright blue light shining almost eerily from the city below.

Lúcio skated around her and Jesse on the stretcher to look outside. He narrowed his eyes behind his goggles to try and see clearly but from their distance, all he could really see is blue.

“Oh, here comes Reinhardt,” he announced as the sound of heavy armor clunking got louder upon the old crusader’s approach. “You okay there, big man?”

Reinhardt had his helmet off his head and was frowning as he slowly climbed up the ramp and into the ship.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” he mumbled in disbelief.

“Seen what?”

Both Angela and Lúcio were looking at him inquiringly.

“Dragons…slaughtering...”

It was then that they all heard it. The air was overcome with the sound of multiple explosions but mixed in it was a loud and almost ethereal cry that could only have come from titanic creatures.

They all turned to look outside. The blue light earlier seemed to have grown brighter within the last few seconds they had taken their eyes away from the scene below and it had now engulfed the entire city. Here and there, they could see orange and yellow burst into the air like fireworks.

They had an inkling. All of them did. They had all seen that blue light before…though never at _this_ magnitude. This was something else entirely and completely different to how they’ve seen it a handful of times in the past. Even the sounds they were making at the moment which was almost eerie, was different from usual.

It was a while later when they saw from the distance, Hana’s mech rocketing through the sky once more and not long after when she landed right on top of the ramp.

Both Genji and Hanzo were on top of the machine and they dropped down easily and soundlessly.

Hanzo walked into the ship without so much as a glance towards any of them and proceeded directly to the stretcher where Jesse’s unconscious body was laying.

Behind him, the others made wordless preparations to leave which mostly involved helping Hana load up and secure her mech into the storage bay. This didn’t take too long and within the next few minutes, they had taken off and were already headed back to Gibraltar at the fastest possible speed.

“You all right?” Lúcio asked some minutes later.

He hadn’t notice until now since he (and everyone else) kept their attention focused on the unconscious cowboy in the middle of the floor. But Hana was pale as a sheet. He hadn’t seen her clearly while she was in her mech but now that she had dismounted, it was clear as day. Her face was drained of color and she had an almost petrified look on her face.

She didn’t say a word but nodded jerkily while shooting glances at Hanzo.

Noticing this, Genji placed a reassuring hand around her shoulder which made her jump.

While Angela continued to fuss around Jesse with Hanzo standing close by—never tearing his eyes away from the gunslinger—the rest of them were either seated around the corner table next to each other.

“Genji…what…what was that?” Hana finally asked.

She was referring to the colossal twin dragons that had engulfed the entire city into flames with no consideration of what lay before them. It was only lucky that they had evacuated the city before engaging the omnics but still… the dragons destroyed everything. All the omnics, that ranged in the hundreds, that stood before them screeched and exploded as soon as the luminescent bodies of the dragons touched them. They weren’t the only ones either, the dragons had also taken down some of the houses and buildings, sending them all into useless piles of rubble though whether they were from the exploding machines or from the power of the beasts, she wasn’t sure. Either way, the destruction was catastrophic.

Hana had never seen anything like it and she didn’t think she ever wanted to. She wasn’t scared of the dragons themselves. She even thought they looked quite beautiful, she always did. She and the others had seen them a few times in the past whenever Hanzo or even Genji summoned the spirits to talk to them or when they somehow leaked out of the their bodies when they meditated or even to battle on missions a few times (the brothers didn’t like to rely on the spirits and only summoned them to fight when absolutely necessary which wasn’t all too often since they were plenty strong already without their help).

But they weren’t _that_ fearsome…or that large. Genji’s dragon, in particular, was no larger than an extra-large cat both when summoned for leisure or during battle. Hanzo’s dragons were also around the same size whenever he summoned them casually but Hana had seen them in a _much_ larger size in battle…but never _this_ large. The largest she (and quite possibly the rest) had seen them was probably the size of a bus though twice or even three times as long. This time around, each dragon was as large as their transport ship, _bigger_ even and longer too. Not to mention they didn’t just soar through the air in one general direction before disappearing some moments later like they usually did after taking down their intended prey. This time they actually circled around, _hungry...as_ if unwilling to disappear until they were 100% they had devoured every single enemy around them.

Then there was the _sound_ they made.

Hana shuddered again.

Their cries were ten times louder and ten times more _terrible_.

She felt Genji squeeze her shoulder reassuringly and she immediately felt slightly calm somehow, even if she didn’t know what kind of look the cyborg was giving her behind his mask.

Genji had been as silent as Hanzo this entire time and though none of them could see his face, they all knew he was looking on with worry.

“That was Hanzo’s anger…and his despair,” he finally said, his voice mechanical as usual but also quite subdued.

* * *

“What do you mean we should ‘ _hide_ the truth’ from Jesse?” Hana demanded, her arms crossed before her as she frowned at Angela after the doctor voiced her ludicrous idea.

They were all in the debriefing room. All of them, except Hanzo who was nowhere to be found after he went to the medbay earlier at Angela’s call about Jesse waking up and Jesse himself who was now in a medically-induced coma just shortly before Hanzo’s arrival.

Angela had called them in to discuss Jesse’s condition and what they should do now that they know the extent of his injuries.

But so far, Hana didn’t like it. Not one bit.

“Hana,” Angela began again, though her voice was still quite patient. “We need to accommodate Jesse’s injury. I want his physical injuries to heal first before we worry about his mental ones. As soon as he’s fully healed in that department…as soon as his brain’s _completely_ stable, then by all means, tell him everything he has forgotten. But for now, I can’t risk him getting confused over events he doesn’t recall and people he doesn’t recognize. It’s already happened and look at him now. I had to knock him out just to calm him down before he could put more strain on himself. If we get episodes like this then he’ll never heal properly. I plan on waking him up again once he’s stabilized, maybe in the next two days or so. But if he’s just going to react similarly to when he first woke up, then I wouldn’t be against keeping him in his coma for a full two months. My Caduceus tech can only do so much. There are some things that only time can heal.”

A depressing silence rang in the room. Everyone quiet. Besides Hana, everyone else had already resigned to Angela’s suggestion. They all knew that whatever she suggested was the best course of action. She was the genius doctor after all. They weren’t even qualified to question her judgment on the matter even if they didn’t particularly like it.

And Hana definitely didn’t.

Still frowning at the doctor, Hana clicked her tongue impatiently. Impertinent as she may be, she still had to voice out her opinion. It didn’t matter if she was the youngest in the group that occupied the room, it didn’t even matter that she was one of the latest addition to Overwatch.

“Athena, play video file eight-four-one-one,” she called out loudly.

At her demand, a hologram flickered to life in front of them, displaying itself over the holostation they were all gathered around.

The holovid that played showed them all a view taken from Hana’s mech as she zoomed through the air with the city of Guatemala below her.

* * *

* * *

_“Hey, you two heard me, right_?” came Hana’s voice as she took off from the rooftop she had landed on, the sound of her mech’s thrusters loud in the background. _“We need to head back. So, get ready to hop on as soon as I get there. Assuming I don’t run into any omnics, I’ll be at your position in two minutes.”_

There was silence besides the sound of her mech as she continued hurtling forward into the darkness.

_“Hello? Can you two hear me?”_

Silence.

They could hear Hana clicking her tongue in the background and continued to watch as she hopped off another rooftop until she finally reached the one where Hanzo and Genji were on.

 _“Why didn’t you two reply?”_ she shouted behind the two who both had their backs turned to her. Genji was standing behind Hanzo, a little off to the side, while the archer was standing on the ledge, his bow held loosely in front of him but already with an arrow nocked. _“I thought you two were—"_

Hana’s voice cut off as soon as Hanzo’s body began emitting a blue light which appeared first from his left arm and through his clothes around his right leg.

“RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WO KURAU!!” Hanzo shouted as he shot the arrow straight into the cloudless sky.

Everyone watching the holovid recognized the words.

It was the same words Hanzo used every time he summoned the twin dragon spirits that lived inside him. But they also knew something was different.

Hanzo’s voice came out as something like a cry of desperation, laced with his fury and his grief at the same time.

Although the bright blue light that emitted from the otherworldly creatures was bright, it wasn’t too glaring on the holovid and they could see the sequence of events without looking away.

The dragons…the dragons that shot out with Hanzo’s arrow was massive as it slowly bathed the entire night sky and the city below in its color.

Everyone in the debriefing room watching the scene that played out all gasped both in shock and horror. Angela had raised her hand over her mouth, Torbjörn’s mouth had fallen open, and a static-y hiss could be heard coming from behind Genji’s mask. The rest of them could only watch in silence, frowns on their faces, their eyes wide.

 _“HANZO!”_ came Hana’s fearful shout.

Instead of a reply from the archer who was still looking over the city from his position on the ledge, it was the titanic dragons’ reverberating cries that answered her instead.

They all watched as the dragons looped around the sky a few times before finally diving heads first into the city below. Like waves of luminescent water, the dragons’ bodies coiled and curved through streets which was closely followed by the sounds of metal being squeezed. The explosions followed soon after this. They saw it before they heard it. Through the sea of blue, like fireworks. Sparks and fire erupted in the wake of the dragons’ progress through the city. _Boom_ s and _bang_ s mixed themselves with the dragons’ continued groans. Sometimes they even went through buildings where more explosions erupted from apparently hidden omnics before the concrete structures crumbled in their wake.

Hana’s mech had captured everything Hana had seen that night and all they could do was watch. They watched as the dragons’ bodies bobbed in and out of view between tall buildings as it wound itself around the city a few times as if hunting for prey that could still be hiding. They would not allow even one to escape their fury and despair…Hanzo’s fury and despair.

 _“Hanzo,”_ this time it was Genji who spoke as he finally stepped forward to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder. _“Let us go.”_

Hanzo’s body was still glowing from his tattoos although quite dim compared to the bright light emitting from his dragons still slithering through the city.

_“Hana?”_

_“Y-Yes,”_ came Hana’s reply. She stepped forward towards the brothers again, her mech’s movements as hesitant as its pilot.

 _“Let us go,”_ Genji repeated once more.

They watched as the cyborg pulled on his brother who didn’t resist as he finally turned around from the ledge. A dead expression was on his face, not unlike the one he’s been wearing during their return to Gibraltar that day and the weeks that followed.

Genji instructed Hanzo to climb up the mech and the archer did so without complaint. The younger Shimada followed after him and only when both men disappeared from view of the recording did Hana finally turn away from the catastrophic extermination still ensuing before them. Hanzo’s dragons still hadn’t stopped their devastation even as they rocketed out of the city and they could still hear their eerie cries echo in the night air as well as the explosions which had gotten more sporadic with every passing minute with no more omnics left to consume.

Before long, the scenery had grown darker, with only a faint blue glow noticeable in the edges of the holovid as they travelled quickly towards the city’s outskirts until the transport ship came to view.

* * *

* * *

When nothing else was shown on the holovid besides static, Athena shut off the projection automatically.

Hana looked around at everyone, still looking as determined as she was earlier while the rest of her colleagues looked more subdued now.

“So, you still think it’s a good idea to keep the truth from Jesse?” she inquired, her question directed at all of them and not just to Angela who had suggested it in the first place. “What are you gonna about Hanzo then? It’s been a month since the incident and although he may look a bit better now, I’m sure—”

“I am fine with it.”

At the sound of his voice, all heads turned to the doorway. No one had even heard the archer entering the debriefing room. When did he get there? They had all been too engrossed with the holovid to even notice him enter.

Hana frowned at this and was ready to argue, only to stop when Lúcio nudged her in the side and shook his head.

“If you think it is best,” Hanzo said with a glance towards Angela, “for Jesse. Then I am fine with it. The only thing that matters right now is his recovery. His _physical_ recovery.” He said this last statement with a slight nod towards Hana.

Hana thought she saw the archer send her an almost thankful look. As if he was grateful that she was considering his feelings in all this mess but that she didn’t have to.

“Winston, I would like to discuss something with you,” he added, looking over to the ape who was standing between Angela and Jack across the room.

A look of understanding crossed Winston’s face which was followed by a sigh and a nod. “Come to my lab later and we’ll talk.”

With a nod and no more words, Hanzo turned back around. The metal doors slid open to allow his leave and closed back just as quickly as soon as he turned the corner into the corridor.

“This is fucking messed up,” Hana said and even she was surprised that her voice as she said this was cracked. Only when she felt Lúcio engulf her in a hug, pulling her against his chest, did she also realize that tears were already running down her cheeks. “So fucking messed up,” she repeated as she hugged him back and began crying in earnest.

She wasn’t one to openly show weakness like this, especially not in front of so many people even if they were friends and colleagues close enough to be her family. But she figured, just this once was fine. Hanzo wasn’t crying and neither was Jesse…so she’ll just cry as much as she can for the pair of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters to go!! （＾ｖ＾）
> 
> * * *
> 
>  **EDIT (04/23/2018):** I've added in some artwork into this chapter which was done by the amazing **Darya87**!! It's _soooo good_ you guys and I'm just so happy to see something I wrote come to life in a single image. Eep!! This is a first for me so it's all kinds of amazing.
> 
> The image above is only a cropped version of the entire thing and it's even more gorgeous in _FULL_ which you can check out over at her account in [DeviantArt](http://fav.me/dc9gqgp) and/or [tumblr](https://captainneedsnosleep.tumblr.com/post/173171082584/i-just-read). Do give her some love too!! ♥


	4. Our Present

#### THE DAY IT ALL BEGAN

Jesse was pacing. Left and right and back again. He had been doing this all night until he exhausted himself and effectively collapsed on his own bed. There he was met with dreams of him and Hanzo. Him kissing Hanzo. Hanzo kissing him. Him on _top_ of Hanzo, doing more than just kissing, and the archer responding to his ministrations with as much ardor as he himself, showed.

And before he knew it, morning had arrived and he was back to pacing again which brought him to the now.

He was confused. _Very_ confused.

But the facts were laid out for him as plainly as day.

One, Hanzo had kissed him last night when he was somehow granted free and unrestricted entrance into the archer’s room. (Just  _how_ he even managed this was beyond him.)

Two, Hanzo had said his name, “Jesse”, which left him no doubt that the man knew just who he had been kissing. _Him_. Jesse.

Three…Hanzo might have found out that Jesse had snuck into his private quarters at the dead of night.

This last one was something he wasn’t sure of and quite frankly, he was almost terrified of finding out. Ever since Jesse had met Hanzo that night in the dining hall, the pair had developed a kind of friendship that he had come to rely on a daily basis. Jesse really liked Hanzo and he didn’t want to ruin their relationship.

 _What if you_ develop _your existing relationship?_ His traitorous mind had asked the question despite Jesse’s attempts of not thinking about the…endless possibilities.

Jesse had never bedded a man before. Not even in his own dreams or fantasies. Well, not until last night. But all the same, Jesse had woken up that morning to a slightly-soaked pair of underwear which even he couldn’t deny the meaning of.

Hanzo’s kiss last night did something to Jesse that the cowboy couldn’t fully comprehend. He was shocked by the gesture, sure. But more shocking still was the fact that he didn’t dislike it. Not at all. He even _liked_ it. A lot. So much so that he actually wanted more. Sure, he might’ve ran from the room as soon as their lips parted, but he couldn’t deny that when he felt Hanzo’s mouth press against his, Jesse had also responded to the pressure by leaning in and kissing him rather avidly back. He didn't understand it, not really. His body was making him feel things he didn't expect it would and his mind was telling him he liked something (enough to even want to do it again) though he didn't even really know where it all stemmed from. It was like he was feeling and thinking things that weren't really his own. Or was it? Had he simply grown instantly attracted to a man out of nowhere for no  _reasonable_ explanation?

Shaking his head, Jesse stopped his pacing. Instead, he sat himself down the side of his bed and steepled his hands together with his elbows on his thighs.

A thought just occurred to him.

Here he was, worrying about what he’s done and how he had suddenly developed these not-too-innocent thoughts and possible feelings about a certain archer but…wasn’t it Hanzo who kissed him first? Wasn’t it Hanzo who had initiated everything? So, didn’t that mean that Hanzo had feelings for him too?

Deep down, a kind of elated feeling erupted from the pit of Jesse’s stomach.

Hanzo liked him, didn’t he?

In truth, Jesse didn’t know exactly what he did to earn the man’s affections seeing as all they did was talk every night for half an hour and the last time they did so he had even angered the archer to the point of walking out on him and avoiding him for the last couple of days.

But there it was, a glaring truth. Hanzo liked him. And this pleased him. So much so that he found himself exiting his room and heading towards the dining hall for breakfast, where he hoped he would see the man in question.

* * *

It turns out, Jesse was wrong. Or at least it seemed like it.

When he didn’t see a single hair of Hanzo’s pretty head all day, it was made clear to him that the archer was still avoiding him.

Nothing changed then. So, it was an easy guess on his part that Hanzo had no idea of what transpired in his own room the night previous. Either that or maybe the archer found another reason for avoiding him.

So, what’s a cowboy to do? Return to the scene of the crime.

Jesse was in front of Hanzo’s door yet again. He wasn’t standing on the entry mat in fear that the door might allow him entrance once more without prompting his identity or a security code first. Although he found the courage to come again, he still didn’t know what to say should he face the archer once more.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there exactly, with his back pressed against the opposite wall in the bright and very clean hallway but apparently, he’d been there long enough.

“What are you doing here?”

It was Hanzo’s voice and Jesse was forced to tear his empty gaze that had been pointedly staring up at one of the lights on the ceiling to look at the man standing as still as a statue at the end of the hallway. He had just turned the corner and had apparently been frozen at the sight of him.

“Hanzo,” Jesse said as naturally as he could and he finally pushed his weight off the wall. “I…uh, been meanin’ to talk to ya.”

A frown was on the archer’s face as he looked back at him but then he sighed and shook his head before a more welcoming expression overcame his features, albeit a forced one. Hanzo allowed a small smile and an almost absurd feeling overwhelmed Jesse right in that instant. He couldn’t help but be reminded of how gorgeous Hanzo was and how he would love nothing more than to take the man in his arms and embrace him as tight as he could right then and there.

Jesse opened his mouth and found himself unable to string words together so he immediately closed them again.

What the hell was the matter with him?

Hanzo continued to stand there, looking at him expectantly. “Do you… Do you want to discuss it in private?” he eventually suggested with a finger pointing towards his room.

Jesse was quick to nod his head and he couldn’t help but wonder if he looked a little too eager as he did so.

Despite the guarded and almost hesitant look on his face, Hanzo closed the distance between them and just like it did for Jesse the previous night, the door slid open as soon as he stepped on the mat.

Jesse followed him inside wordlessly.

“Take a seat,” Hanzo said with a careless wave towards one of the two chairs on opposite sides of the square table across his bed.

“Are you still angry with me?” Jesse asked as he did as he was told and had taken the chair directly opposite from where Hanzo sat on the bed.

“I am not angry with you.”

“It sure doesn’t seem like it, sweetheart. You’ve been avoidin’ me.”

Hanzo remained quiet after this accusation and Jesse couldn’t help but feel guilty. He wasn’t there to reprimand the archer. He was there to fix—whatever this is that was happening between them. He wanted to go back to talking again. To being friends again. And maybe even…images of Hanzo and himself in his dream came flooding back into his head at that point and Jesse was forced to shake his head at the same time he was sure his heart skipped a bit.

This really was getting ridiculous. Both his mind and his body were betraying him in a manner he didn’t even think possible. What the hell is going on?

Jesse forcefully cleared his throat.

“Look. I’m sorry if I was bein’ a bit pushy with ya. It was my fault entirely. Shouldn’t have forced you to tell me about my injury when you clearly didn’t want to tell me. I—”

“I _want_ to tell you,” Hanzo interrupted, looking straight at him and even Jesse had picked up on the sadness in his voice which had already reflected in his brown eyes. “I…I want to. But I cannot. I am sorry. It is complicated.”

His voice was so full of remorse that Jesse could hardly take it. Hanzo looked so…so _broken_ and it confused Jesse as much as it pained his heart to see the archer this way. And it was because of _him_ no less.

Without thinking, Jesse got up from his seat to sit next to Hanzo on the bed and he wrapped his arms around him.

“I’m sorry too, darlin’,” he said in a whisper. He felt Hanzo freeze in his embrace but not long after, he felt the man’s body tremble underneath his hold.

Jesse pulled away at that and looked at Hanzo.

A single tear was sliding down his right cheek and the bright chocolate brown eyes that were looking at Jesse were wide and…hopeful… _expecting_. Jesse could feel the archer’s breath on his face as he breathed in and out through his slightly parted lips.

To say he didn’t know what came over him would be a lie.

Jesse knew exactly what he was doing as he pushed Hanzo down against the bed and claimed his lips with his own for a deep, searing kiss.

He heard Hanzo’s breath hitch underneath him but he paid little mind to this as he forcefully shoved his tongue into the man’s hot, wet, and _eager_ mouth and ran it along every corner he could reach. He raised both his hands to cup Hanzo’s face by the neck as he deepened the kiss even more, forcing his tongue as far as he could go into his mouth while fighting Hanzo’s own which was beginning to respond.

Hanzo let out a kind of whimper and before Jesse knew it, he could feel an arm wrap around his torso and another grabbing a fistful of his hair from the back of his head.

Jesse let out a pleased hiss when he felt Hanzo pull on his hair painfully, the pair of them completely forgetting he even had a wound there and Jesse promptly left the archer’s lips. Instead he began trailing wet kisses across his jaw and further down until he was nuzzling his neck.

“Jesse,” Hanzo moaned when Jesse began kissing, sucking and licking a spot on his nape in turn.

Hearing his name coming out of the archer in such a lustful tone made Jesse lose it.

Growling against him, he bit down on Hanzo, leaving indentations of his teeth on his otherwise perfectly smooth skin.

Hanzo let out another whimper and Jesse felt his hold on him tighten as he bucked his hips. That was when he felt the very prominent bulge underneath his own steadily growing one.

Jesse pulled away once more, this time to properly look down at the man already panting underneath him. His eyes were hooded, his gaze dark with blown pupils as he looked up at him with need. His chest was heaving up and down with his shortened breaths and his hair as well as his clothes were already in complete disarray.

“Fuck,” Jesse cursed under his breath. The more he looked at Hanzo, the harder he got and his building erection was already straining against his pants.

“Fuck me,” Hanzo whispered up at him and he began palming Jesse over his jeans while his other hand started pulling on his belt buckle in an attempt to remove it.

With wide eyes, Jesse stared down at him.

This was going too fast…wasn’t it? Sure, he wasn’t exactly complaining considering his cock had been begging for release ever since he touched the archer but this was all still too fast. Too fast and too soon. There was supposed to be a proper order to these things. He didn’t want to just fuck Hanzo and leave when he was done. He wasn't sure what he wanted exactly since he never thought beyond wanting to get his hands on him but he definitely didn’t want to have some kind of one-night stand with him. If they were going to do anything more than they already had, he wanted something more concrete out of it…and not some sort of thoughtless fling.

They needed to talk about this. It was important they do so especially since they also worked together. If they didn’t, it might make a big mess out of things and even potentially involve the rest of their colleagues and even affect their jobs (which wasn’t a pleasant thought considering what they do; the last thing he wanted was for either of them to get hurt on the field). This was precisely why Jesse—as much of a flirt as he was—never “dated” anyone he worked with in the past. Though it wasn’t in his nature, he even held back with trying to sleep with a good number of former agents (some of which practically threw themselves at him after a little flirtation and a few choice words) in the past for this very reason.

Against his better judgment, Jesse’s hand circled around Hanzo’s wrist just as the archer was in the middle of zipping down his pants. He didn’t even realize that his belt was already unfastened and the top button of his jeans, undone.

“Stop,” he said in an almost strangled voice.

Hanzo’s eyes darted from Jesse’s partially revealed underwear to look him in the eye.

They didn’t say anything for a while, simply stared. Jesse looking conflicted and Hanzo…slowly looking horrified.

“Oh God,” he managed to say before pushing Jesse off of him and sitting up. He made quick work with fixing his clothes and straightening his hair as much as he could without having to undo the cord that usually held it in place.

“Hanzo, wait. I’m sorry but I just—”

“Please get out,” Hanzo said in a low voice as he stood up and began shoving Jesse towards the door.

“Hanzo!”

But the archer wouldn’t listen as he shook his head and kept pushing him until the door slid open once more and Jesse was sent stumbling out into the hallway.

Jesse had every intention to go back inside, to explain to Hanzo why he didn’t want to have sex with him (for now) but he found himself unable to move when he saw the shorter man's face.

Hanzo stood there, by the doorway, with an almost anguished expression as he looked at Jesse. Even more tears were now rolling down his cheeks and Jesse could see his fists tremble on either side of him.

“I…I apologize…” he said with a slight bow of his head towards him and Jesse was sure he was about to say more but he never heard the rest of his words as the doors slid to a close between them.

* * *

Once again, Jesse found himself pacing in his own room.

This didn’t last for too long however. He was more restless now. More so than he had been earlier that morning. His head was filled even more by a certain archer and nothing could calm him down. Even his _little friend_ (which isn’t little at all, not by a long shot) hadn’t calmed down just yet. In fact, he doubted it could calm down, not after it got a slight taste of Hanzo’s intimate touches. Touches that he craved more of.

At this thought, he stopped in his tracks and turned towards his closet.

Like a madman, he searched through all of his clothes one by one, shoving his hand through all the pockets.

There were only two things that ever helped him calm down whenever he felt bothered or agitated by anything. Smoke and booze. He was prohibited from consuming either of the two but right now, he really needed it. Jesse already knew the latter was out of the question. He was never in the habit of keeping hidden bottles in his room since he usually finished it all to the last drop every single time. His cigarillos, however, he _had_ to have a box or two lying around somewhere.

His entire room was already cleaned out before he was released from the medbay but he was hoping that Angela might have missed one or two (or more, hopefully) sticks somewhere.

So, Jesse searched. He looked through every inch of his closet and only when he found none did he proceed to the drawers.

“C’mon, just _one_ ,” he muttered to himself as he threw clean socks and underwear over his shoulder where it landed on a growing pile of clean clothes on the floor.

Fate wasn’t so kind to him, however, and Jesse was forced to slide himself down to the floor with his back against his bed.

But then he saw it. The gold ribbon that he had found underneath his mattress. He had never gotten the chance to return it to its proper owner (whoever it was) and it was currently sitting on his desk.

Jesse turned around and got on his knees as he pulled on his mattress again, lifting it up to see whatever was underneath. Then he saw it. A battered old cigarillo box was sticking out at the head of the mattress, partially hidden between the gartered bedsheet which was probably how he missed it when he ransacked his room in search of his missing flannel days previous.

With a triumphant shout, Jesse made a grab for it, but his disappointed came quickly afterward.

The worn-out box was empty. Empty of cigarillos at least.

Instead, there was something sitting inside the box. Something flat.

Sitting back down on the floor, Jesse pulled out its contents and was surprised to find a photograph. Two in fact, and they were both folded down the middle so it would fit inside.

Jesse’s eyes widened in shock when he saw that it was a photo of Hanzo.

The archer’s face was quite red with what Jesse assumed as embarrassment as he held up a hand to the camera. His hand was blurry but his face behind it was in focus and even Jesse couldn’t help but think about how adorable he looked with the flustered expression on his face.

The other photo below this made Jesse’s eyes widen even more and he could immediately feel his head hurt. The beginnings of a headache was slowly making itself known.

He was looking at a photo of Hanzo still, but beside the archer was Jesse himself.

Jesse was holding the camera over himself and the archer. He was winking up at the camera with a rather pleased grin on his face and his other arm was around an apparently sleeping Hanzo who was closely cuddled up against his chest on the bed. The photo only showed them from the waist up but they were both naked as far as he could see and judging by the mess of Jesse’s hair and Hanzo’s which was untied and spilling over the pillow he was partially laying on, it was immediately clear to Jesse what had transpired before the photo was taken. As if to confirm his suspicions, he even spotted what looked like a small bottle—which he could easily guess as lube seeing as it was shaped similarly to the particular brand he personally liked to use—right next to the pillow.

Blinking rapidly and feeling the ache in his head growing in intensity, Jesse tried to clear his mind of other thoughts as he tried to remember exactly _when_ this photo was taken.

But nothing came to him except pain as his head began to hurt even more with each passing second.

Confused and frustrated, he got to his feet and dashed back out of his room. He wanted, no, _needed_ answers. And he needed them now.

* * *

Hanzo pulled out another photo from the open box in front of him.

This one was a photo of Jesse and Hanzo in the game room. They were both holding controllers, Hanzo looking quite serious and Jesse grinning in apparent delight. In front of them, making a V-sign to the camera she had pointed towards all three of them was Hana.

He shouldn’t be doing this but he’s been doing it anyway, everyday without fail since Angela told him about Jesse’s lost memories which was the same day he began gathering up all the photos he could find in both their bedrooms as well as others lying around the base from Hana’s own bedroom to the dining hall fridge to the common room corkboard.

Hanzo knew it only hurt him more whenever he looked through all their photos but he couldn’t help it. The photos were all he had left of _his_ Jesse. They were proof to him that happier times really did exist. And he wanted to be reminded of it, even if it did hurt him in the process. He needed confirmation that what he had with Jesse wasn’t all just a dream which started to feel just that as each day passed without having the cowboy by his side.

Lowering the photo onto the pile already on the table, he picked up another one from the massive stack. The sheer amount of photos that had accumulated over time had taken even him by surprise when he had set out on gathering them weeks ago.

The photo this time was of him and Jesse, taken from behind as they walked in the distance. Hana had still taken this photo. The mech pilot took almost all the photos that existed and were formerly plastered everywhere around the base. She had the habit of taking videos and photographing everyone, not just of Jesse and Hanzo although most of her work were of the two as well as Lúcio. She had even gotten everyone matching polaroid cameras as gifts for Christmas which explained why Jesse and Hanzo had more _intimate_ photos of themselves that could only have been taken by either of them in the privacy of their bedrooms…mostly Hanzo’s which was where they mostly cohabitated.

Hanzo was now looking at one particular intimate photo at that very moment. He thumbed the Jesse in the photo he held up in front of him. This one was taken by the cowboy. He was grinning up at the camera with Hanzo in the background in the middle of stripping down his clothes. He remembered being irritated by him at the time for goofing around. They had just gotten back from a mission and Hanzo wanted nothing more than to peel off his sweat and grime-stained clothes so he could take a warm shower and finally clean up.

At once, Hanzo could feel the corners of his eyes begin to well up with tears again. Reasonable his sadness and despair may be, Hanzo hated himself lately. He hated being so emotional and being so prone to depressing mood swings and all the crying he’s been doing. _Especially_ the crying. Since when had Hanzo become such a softie that he was so quick to wear his emotions on his sleeve like he had done since Jesse’s injury?

Clicking his tongue in frustration, Hanzo stood up, not wanting to just sit there and wallow in his own grief any longer.

The sudden movement worked against him however, as his knees banged against the underside of the table and effectively threw about the items on the surface. The hundreds of photos scattered everywhere, some of them landing on the floor as the box which had kept it secure toppled over on its side.

Cursing under his breath, Hanzo made to pick them up just as the sound of his door _whoosh_ ing open behind him reached his ears.

Still bent on the ground, he looked up and his chocolate brown eyes met Jesse’s honey-brown ones.

He was caught completely by surprise. Jesse came back. Not only that, he was panting rather heavily, as if he had come back in a run. Also…his door just let him in without even prompting for a code.

Hanzo cursed himself inwardly for forgetting to tell Athena to disallow Jesse full access to his quarters. They had both granted each other automatic admission into each other’s bedrooms soon after they started dating and he never even thought about changing this.

“Hanzo,” Jesse said, his voice low and a little strangled as he approached him with too forceful steps until he stood right in front of him.

The gunslinger’s eyes only left his when he took notice of what was currently littering the floor and the table.

Hanzo watched as Jesse’s brows furrowed when he picked up the nearest photo to him. The photo was of Jesse standing in the middle with his arms over both Hanzo and Genji’s shoulders. It was one of the first few photos of them, not too long after Hanzo first joined Overwatch and shortly after Hana came along. In the photo, Jesse was grinning brightly as usual while Hanzo looked exasperated with his arms crossed over his chest. Genji had his visor on so his face was covered but his body language indicated he was in as good a mood as the cowboy seeing as the arm that wasn’t on his own hip was also slung over Jesse’s shoulder, his two fingers forming a V just over Hanzo’s head.

“Jesse… I… I can explain…” Hanzo began to say although really, he _couldn’t_ explain.

Jesse’s eyes left the photo he was holding to look through the others scattered around them.

Without a word, Jesse pressed his palm flat against Hanzo’s chest as soon as he was upright again and it was only when he felt it on his skin that Hanzo realized that the cowboy had been holding onto something this entire time.

Taking the item shoved against him between his own fingers, Hanzo looked down at the folded-up photo and opened it.

He opened his mouth sometime later, only to close it again. Hanzo recalled the first photo. Jesse had snapped the camera in his face soon after he made the suggestion to Hanzo that they should take photos of them having sex at least once. The very thought embarrassed him (what if other people saw it?!) and of course, he was quick to shoot down the suggestion. It was when he attempted to shove the camera away that Jesse had taken the photo. Hanzo knew Jesse had taken the shot but he had actually never seen the actual photograph from that time, Jesse had pocketed it quickly and Hanzo had all but forgotten about its existence.

The second one… Hanzo never even knew existed. He was clearly sleeping soundly next to Jesse in the photo so it was only to be expected.

“It’s yours,” Jesse finally said, his voice quite small as his eyes darted around him from one photo to another.

“What—”

“The gold ribbon,” he continued as he picked up another photo from the scattered pile on the table and held it in front of Hanzo’s eyes. “You’re wearin’ it in a couple of these photos.”

“W-What about it?” Hanzo asked, confused. The long golden fabric was his favorite ribbon and his oldest one. It even distinguished Hanzo as much as Jesse’s red serape and Stetson did the cowboy. But he had lost it some months ago which is why Jesse had given him the red cord he now uses regularly on his hair. Color similar to his serape and what everyone knew to be Jesse’s favorite. A sign of possession that Hanzo didn’t altogether dislike.

“I have it,” Jesse said with a look at Hanzo which the archer couldn’t very well explain. Was he upset? Confused? Angry? All three? “It’s in my room. I found it under my mattress. I thought it was one of the girl’s but it’s actually yours. Did you…did you give me that ribbon…or somethin’? Why do I have it?”

Jesse looked more confused than anything else now and Hanzo couldn’t help but reach out a hand towards him when the taller man staggered a little and held a hand up to his head with a notable wince.

“Jesse—”

But he cut off again as Jesse shook his head at him and took a step away, as if afraid of being touched.

“When we met that first night in the dinin’ hall…you lied to me that it was our first meetin’.” A statement, not a question. Jesse was looking at him with his forehead creased, his face displaying his feelings of betrayal but also his confusion at whatever the hell was going on. “Hanzo, what… _who_ are you? These photos speak for themselves. There’s clearly somethin’ between us. Were we—are we datin’ or somethin’?

Were they? Even Hanzo didn’t know anymore. Clearly, they weren’t at the moment seeing as Jesse didn’t even remember who he was. So, what did that make them now? Friends? Ex’s?

Hanzo bit the inside of his bottom lip and shook his head, not knowing how to answer his question.

Jesse sighed a shaky breath and closed his eyes. He looked like he was willing some patience into himself.

“Okay, let me ask somethin’ simpler.” Hanzo waited. It took the gunslinger another minute for him to gather his thoughts to properly form his question. “How long has it been…?”

This question, Hanzo did not expect. He knew Jesse wasn’t stupid. He already knew that the man would figure it out especially after seeing the photos. There were photos taken from different holidays which was enough proof that quite a bit of time had passed.

“How long…” Hanzo repeated, unable to meet his eye now.

“Angela said I’ve been asleep for nearly a month after I got my injuries from the last mission I was on. Is that true?”

“That is true.”

With furrowed brows and an unsatisfied expression on his face, Jesse turned away from Hanzo to look down on the spread of photos on the table once more.

“Then what else? What am I missin’? How much did I _really_ forget?” Jesse finally asked.

Although he never considered it, though he never even thought it a possibility to happen to him, Jesse knew about the condition. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together. He woke up after suffering multiple grave injuries, the worst of which was to his head. It was easy to guess. He already forgot what happened during the mission that caused his injuries…what was to say that he hadn’t forgotten _more_ than what he initially thought? More than what he’d been told?

“How much did I forget??” he repeated when the archer didn’t answer him still. He looked down and his eyes landed on a group photo of all the Overwatch members gathered in front of a Christmas tree and various decorations strewn about the walls and ceiling. Everyone—including him who was seated next to Hanzo with an arm around the archer’s shoulder and the other finger-gunning the camera—was grinning and flashing similar smiles either at the camera or to the person next to them which was the case for Lena whose attention was on a freckled red-head he didn't recognize standing to her right. “Please, Hanzo. Just tell me.”

Hanzo swallowed audibly as he backed up against his bed and fell on the mattress with his hands over his face.

“Please, I beg ya,” Jesse urged, his tone as desperate for answers as his words are.

It took him a few moments…but eventually Hanzo nodded.

What was the point keeping things from Jesse now? He saw the pictures and even Hanzo couldn’t deny those when it was revealing the truth quite plainly in colored film.

“Your head injury…” Hanzo began, face still in his palms as he leaned over with his elbows resting on his knees. He was suddenly _very_ exhausted.

This entire thing had been emotionally draining him for nearly three weeks as he tried to keep up a pretense of being strangers-turned-friends with the man who was supposed to be his lover. The same man he had been sleeping with every day (unless they were on missions and even then, they still slept close if they were sent out on the same assignment) until he was made to stop...against his will.

Hanzo breathed in deeply. “It gave you a serious case of amnesia. You did not just forget the mission that got you injured…you…you forgot other things too.”

Jesse didn’t say anything to this so Hanzo lifted his head to look at him. The cowboy was frowning and looked almost nervous but he didn’t seem too surprised by Hanzo’s words. It was as if he was already expecting him to say what he just did.

“Serious, you say…” Jesse tried to laugh a little as he said this but it came out quite bitter. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep, calming breath. “How much did I forget?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Jesse—”

“ _How much?_ ” he repeated determinedly.

Hanzo licked his lips. They had gone dry considerably since the start of this discussion.

“I…I do not know when exactly you came to Gibraltar for the Recall. A few months before me, I think. But its been a year since I came here…since we first met.”

“A year…” Jesse echoed, a stunned look on his face.

A year’s worth of memories, forgotten. Not even that. It was actually a year _and_ a few months. That was a long time. _Too_ long. Long enough to form close relationships with people and even relationships intimate enough as he had apparently had been with Hanzo judging by the photos laid out in front of him. And he had forgotten them all.

He looked down at the photos again, picking up a photo which had Hanzo on top of Jesse, nuzzling the side of his neck. Hanzo’s back was to the camera but his head was slightly tilted and he could still be seen smiling against Jesse's bare skin while he was clearly laughing with a hand stretched out above him as he took the photo.

They were so happy. So close. He could see the love in Hanzo’s face in a lot of the photos but most of all, he could see it in excess on his own…and he _forgot_ them all.

“Jesse?”

“Hanzo, I…” his voice trailed away. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say but it didn’t matter at that point. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to. It was as if something inside him had snapped. The steadily growing pain in his head that he had been feeling since he found the two folded photos in his room had suddenly shot up in intensity out of nowhere.

Hanzo could only watch as a pained expression crossed the cowboy’s face before his eyes rolled up to the back of his head and his lids shut close. Jesse’s hand that had been gripping his head this entire time finally fell to his side, followed by the rest of his body as he collapsed to the ground.

“JESSE!!”

* * *

Hana fidgeted on her seat for what felt like the millionth time. She stole a glance at the man seated next to her who hadn’t moved since her arrival. He still had his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his palms.

“He’ll be fine,” she said eventually though the words were more to convince herself than the archer.

Just then the metal doors in front of them slid open with that familiar _whoosh_ as all doors did on the base.

Hana looked up, as did Hanzo, when Lúcio stepped out of the medbay.

“How is he, Lú?”

The DJ smiled at her and gave her a thumbs-up. He should have been more surprised at seeing the pair of them waiting outside but he wasn’t.

The other agents (those who weren’t off base on missions) had left after Lúcio’s initial announcement that Jesse was fine half an hour ago. He and Angela had simply kept him there to do a more thorough assessment of his condition afterwards.

Lúcio turned to Hanzo. “He’s asking for you.”

Hanzo looked at Lúcio as if he had seen a ghost. His face was pale and actually looked terrified.

“Give him a good smacking from me for making us worry,” Hana said with a little smile as she pushed Hanzo from the back, making him stumble forward.

* * *

Hanzo wanted to see Jesse. He wanted to see that his—or, _formerly_ his—cowboy was really all right and that he didn’t cause further damage on him…again. It was his fault that he got injured and lost his memories in the first place. If he made his condition _worse_ …he didn’t know if he could live with himself any longer.

“ _Remember_ what I just said,” came Angela’s voice behind the curtain that separated Hanzo from Jesse’s bed.

“Yes, yes, I know… I won’t try to remember nothin’,” Jesse said in reply, clearly exasperated. He sounded fine at least.

“I’ll know if you do,” Angela said before the curtain was drawn.

The doctor looked at Hanzo and he looked back. They exchanged no words though Hanzo half-expected her to reprimand him for what he had caused. It was because of him that Jesse was back in her medbay after all. If he hadn’t been so careless with the photos…

But Angela gave him a little encouraging smile and she even patted him on the shoulder before stepping past him.

“I’ll give you two time to talk. I need to see Jack about something anyway. I’ll be back in an hour or so. Call me if you need anything.”

With that, she left.

Hanzo listened for the door behind him as it opened and then closed once again.

“A real stickler that one is.”

The sound of Jesse’s voice made Hanzo look up to finally meet the man’s gaze.

Inwardly, Hanzo was grateful that he wasn’t hooked up to machines. He didn’t know what to expect. Lúcio had informed them that he was fine but some part of Hanzo expected him to be on life-support again for some reason and that was a sight he never wanted to see ever again.

Jesse grinned at Hanzo before patting his hand on the side of his bed, as if inviting him to sit there.

Hanzo opted for the stool instead. The very same one he’s been occupying nearly everyday while Jesse had been unconscious.

With a little pout, Jesse didn’t say anything but continued looking at Hanzo.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fit as a fiddle,” the gunslinger replied without hesitation. “They’re makin’ too big’a deal out of nothin’.”

“McCree… you _fainted,_ ” Hanzo pointed out, voice somber.

“Oh? Am I McCree now? What happened to ‘Jesse’?”

Hanzo frowned. “I am being serious.”

“As am I, sugar.”

They stared at each other for a while.

_Wait…_

“Did you—do you—?” Hanzo couldn’t form a coherent sentence as he considered the possibility. Neither Angela nor Lúcio had said a thing about Jesse’s current state of mind. He was physically okay, sure, but mentally…did he get back his memories?!

Realizing what he was asking despite his lack of sensible words, Jesse’s eyes widened and he shook his head.

“Sorry, darlin’. I still can’t remember nothin’.”

These words made Hanzo’s entire being deflate on the spot. He didn’t even realize he had just worked himself into a hopeful state until it was crushed immediately right after.

“Oh…”

“Angela did give me this though.” Jesse lifted his hand and showed Hanzo the holodisk. “I promised her I won’t hurt myself tryin’ to force my brain to remember things I’ve forgotten in exchange for this.”

“What is in it?”

“A recordin’ of how I got injured.”

As far as Hanzo knew, there was no such recording. He was the only person who had witnessed Jesse getting crushed by the omnic that nearly took his life. How would Angela have a recording? Had she collected footage from security cameras from the street or the buildings nearby?

With a press of a finger on the few buttons on the disk, Jesse held out his hand so the pair of them can watch it properly.

Just as Hanzo expected, the holovid didn’t contain a video of when Jesse got injured. Instead, it only showed when he and Genji, with an unconscious Jesse between them, carried him down the street towards the rest of their team. It was a video still taken from Hana’s mech.

They both watched in silence as the scene played on. Both brothers set Jesse on the ground slowly with Hanzo making sure his head was resting comfortably enough on his lap as Lúcio made an initial inspection of his injuries.

Jesse couldn’t help but wince a little as he watched the state of himself in the video. His entire body looked like it was drenched in blood and dirt. But he also couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that Hanzo didn’t seem to care about the state he was in as the archer bent over him, so close their noses were nearly touching. Both his hands were on either side of his face, his thumbs lightly grazing his stained cheeks as he chanted Jesse’s name over and over. Hanzo wasn’t crying but he did look like he was dangerously close to breaking any second.

This video was quite long, and uncut. It showed them what Hana saw through her mech. Lúcio giving out orders until they were rocketing back to the transport ship where Angela and Lúcio worked on Jesse…Hana rocketing back to the city as she got in contact with Reinhardt to head back…and when Hanzo released the dragons that nearly devoured the entire city of Guatemala…

It ended similarly to the video Hana had shown the rest of their colleagues in the debriefing room a while back. And when it did, Jesse’s fingers clenched over the holodisk and he turned to Hanzo who couldn’t bare to look back at him.

“I am sorry…” he said, his voice riddled with guilt.

“For what?”

“Your injuries…you got them because of me. It is all my fault. That holodisk does not show it because I was the only one who was there to witness what happened. An omnic got you at the time. You were pinned hard into a wall and it only happened because of my own recklessness.”

“What do you mean?”

“You used Deadeye quite early that night because we had been overrun. There were more omnics than we had anticipated. I was on the roof. You saw a few of them positioning to strike me while I was busy fighting off one of them that had taken me by surprise and…you used Deadeye again. It strained your eyes and exhausted you enough that you failed to notice the one that came rocketing down the street towards you.”

“That’s how I got hit?”

Hanzo nodded mutely as he lowered his face into his hand again.

“And now you are back in the medbay because of my carelessness yet again,” he muttered rather resentfully and it was directed at himself. “I should have just burned those photos. Then you would not have seen them and—”

“And what?”

Jesse’s voice was sharp and cut at Hanzo’s self-loathing like a knife, forcing the archer to look up at him. The gunslinger was frowning at him now and even looked quite angry.

“If you burn those photos, then I ain’t ever gonna forgive you. And don’t be sorry for it either. I’m actually happy I saw ‘em. If I didn’t, then I’d still be in the dark about everythin’…about you and me. In fact, I’m still kinda pissed off that you even hid somethin’ like this from me this entire time.”

“Angela—”

“Even if it was her idea,” Jesse interrupted as he reached over to take Hanzo’s hand. “Even if I don’t remember anythin’ about you or us…did you really think that the me from back then would be happy? Even the me of right now ain’t happy, Hanzo. I wish you would’ve told me the truth about us sooner.”

“You would not have believed me even if I did.”

“Maybe not,” he agreed reasonably. “But if the positions were reversed and it had been you who lost your memories of me…I’ll be damned if I don’t try to make you remember me one way or another. I sure as hell won’t just pretend that _we_ never happened.”

Hanzo looked at him and Jesse could only stare back, now with a small smile on his lips.

“What are you saying…?” Inside the archer, he was confused but he also couldn’t help that feeling of hope that was threatening to overcome him yet again.

“I’m sayin’ that I want us to be together. It’s kind of hard to explain. I don’t remember you at all and I don’t even remember how I ended up datin’ you back then. Right now, it’s all confusin’. But I’m pretty damn sure that I want you to be with me. I think I’m in love with ya…err…again.”

_Hanzo stared at him, bewildered. Did he just say…?_

_“I think I'm in love with ya,” Jesse repeated once more, clearly reading Hanzo’s thoughts._

_The cowboy held his Stetson between nervous fingers over his chest as he waited for a reply._

_What was he supposed to say to this…_ confession _? For one thing, Hanzo never even expected it. He and Jesse had only met not two months ago when he came to Gibraltar and joined Overwatch at Genji’s invitation. Sure, they hit it off quicker than what was the norm for Hanzo since he doesn’t “make friends” easily (his personality simply didn’t allow for that; even then, he and Jesse still had a somewhat rocky start mainly due to Hanzo’s incredulity at meeting an_ actual _cowboy), but he certainly didn’t expect a love confession to result from one of his newly formed friendships._

 _“_ Why _?” was all he could say. It may sound harsh but it was certainly a reasonable question._

_Jesse looked thoughtful for a moment before he gave his answer._

_“Can’t say I have a real reason.”_

Of course not, _Hanzo thought as he rolled his eyes._

_“Now hold on there,” Jesse added quickly as he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s just…I’ve been enjoyin’ spendin’ time with you and I just wanna keep you next to me. And uhh…I couldn’t get ya out of my mind lately. Embarrassin’ as that may sound. Isn’t that enough of a reason? For now, at least.”_

Jesse’s first confession wasn’t exactly the “best”. In truth, Hanzo didn’t even expect their relationship to become what it did over time. He held some curiosity and a mild sense of possessiveness over the cowboy, sure, but Hanzo never thought they would become as close as they did after a few months of being lovers.

Close to the point of wanting to die should he ever lose his other half…

“Why?” Hanzo asked, an echo of the past as he was genuinely curious as to the gunslinger’s reason for his confession this time around.

Back then, he had been hesitant to agree to forming a relationship with Jesse because it seemed a little too rushed. But he had taken the plunge anyway and it only got them closer which eventually solidified their relationship.

But now, there was even less between them than before. Besides a forgotten past and those late-night talks in the dining hall, there was really nothing else. How could Jesse have fallen in love with him _again_? Was it because of the photos? Hanzo didn’t know how he’d feel if he were just confessing because of that. It would be as if Jesse were forcing himself to continue a relationship just because there was proof that it had once existed. And Hanzo didn’t want that. He would want to be with Jesse because the cowboy actually wanted to be with him in return, not just because of their history that he doesn't even remember.

Jesse looked at Hanzo before turning to look up at the ceiling as he leaned back into his pillows.

“Can’t say I have a real reason…”

Hanzo’s eyes bore into him as he repeated the exact same words he had told him once before.

“But, I just can’t get ya out of my mind lately. You know, I’ve been lookin’ forward to seein’ you and talkin’ to you in the dinin’ hall?” he admitted with a grin. “I mean, I know we barely know each—no, that’s not true. I know _I_ barely know you after losin’ my memories but…I don’t know. A part of me still wants to keep you next to me. I think... I mean I ain't sure about it but maybe even if I forgot about us, the feelings I had— _still_ have for you are still inside me. Uhh…does that make any sense?”

“No, it does not,” Hanzo replied in a small voice. A short but sincere laugh escaped his lips and finally a small, albeit sad smile, graced his features. “But I understand.”

He felt the tear as it rolled down his cheek and though he loathed himself for it, he didn't try to stop it. Jesse wanted him back. Jesse wanted him still. A part of him was so much in disbelief he knew little of what to do except relish his own happiness at the thought that his lover hadn't and wouldn't completely disappear from his life after all.

Jesse let out a long and audible breath as he looked at Hanzo with what was clearly regret on his face.

“I wish I could bring back the old me.”

Hanzo could only look back at him as he laced his fingers with Jesse’s and gave it a tight squeeze.

“You’re still the same man I fell in love with,” he admitted.

Silence.

“Hanzo…” Jesse started, his voice and expression indicating he was suddenly nervous. “Can you…can we…?”

The cowboy’s cheeks turned a slight shade of red.

Hanzo didn’t need for him to voice the question properly to understand what he was asking.

Standing up, Hanzo climbed onto the bed and straddled Jesse with his knees on either side of his hips.

With wide and almost disbelieving eyes, Jesse watched Hanzo, his eyes never leaving his as the archer held his face between his palms and lowered himself slowly until their lips pressed together.

It was a chaste kiss, one of the few they’ve ever shared through the entirety of their relationship which (Hanzo won't deny) was mostly comprised of carnal desire.

The cowboy underneath him let out a pleased sigh by the time Hanzo pulled back minutes later but Jesse kept him in place as he wrapped his arms around his waist.

He conceded to his touch and let himself fall fully on top of Jesse as he too wrapped his own arms around his neck, pressing his face against Hanzo’s nape.

“I’m sorry I forgot about us,” Jesse eventually whispered.

Hanzo shook his head and tightened his embrace around the gunslinger.

“We will make new memories.”

“I’m countin' on that,” Jesse said with a chuckle as he pulled Hanzo away from him just enough so he could look up at him properly.

They stared at each other for a while until neither of them could take it anymore. Just laying there with their eyes trained on the other, the pair of them could easily feel the tension build between them as each second passed.

Their lips met again for a second time. This time deeper and infinitely more passionate.

Jesse’s grip on Hanzo’s waist tightened perceptibly, as did Hanzo’s which was now fisted in Jesse’s hair.

Their kiss became more hurried as their lips parted and their tongues intertwined.

“Hanzo,” Jesse hissed against his mouth as his hands began roaming down Hanzo’s body, steadily going further south. When his hand reached _that_ part of the archer, he let out a groan when Hanzo bucked against his palm.

With a nip of Hanzo’s lower lip, Jesse pulled away, panting now.

“We did, uhh… _fuck_ , yeah?" His question came out a little too insensitively, but he couldn't help it. "I mean, if we were datin’ before, we should have, right?”

It was hard to imagine himself dating the gorgeous archer on top of him and _not_ having slept with him at least a few times, but he still wanted to make sure just in case. He didn’t want something like this to be their first time after all though in truth what they were doing now felt like a first time for him.

An amused look overcame Hanzo’s face and he let out a laugh, loud and laced with nothing but happiness.

Jesse thought he could have listened to the wonderful sound forever. Yeah, he really was far gone as far as Hanzo was concerned.

With a smirk, Hanzo lowered himself again until his lips were right next to Jesse’s ear.

“Every day,” he said simply.

This was the truth. If they could manage it, they really did go at it like bunnies on heat every single day. The only times they didn't do it were when they were out on missions which simply couldn't be helped.

Jesse’s eyes widened at this confession and he looked at Hanzo disbelievingly. He had dated plenty other people before and he enjoyed sex as much as the next person but… _every day_? Even he didn’t think he had that much stamina especially now at his age (while working his job in Overwatch no less) to keep up with that much sexual activity. Daily training was exhausting enough by itself after all.

“Sometimes,” Hanzo continued as he lowered himself down Jesse’s body while trailing kisses. His jaw, his nape, the exposed top part of his barrel chest that already revealed sprinkles of hair. He undid the button-down plaid Jesse was wearing as he went and continued kissing the newly exposed expanse of skin and hair until he reached the hem of his pants. “Even more than that.”

He wasn’t too sure what that meant but his mouth was dry now as he watched the archer unbuckle his pants with quick, experienced fingers. Though still quite amazing to even consider, he somehow didn’t find it as hard to believe now as he watched Hanzo get to work. If this was what he was treated to every day, then hell…

Jesse sucked in a deep breath when Hanzo finally managed to pull down the front of his pants and his underwear with it, exposing his cock as it stood at complete attention right in front of the archer’s face. Hanzo was looking at it as if he wanted nothing more than to take it in his mouth and do with it as he pleased.

Which is exactly what he did.

He watched with slightly parted lips and even wider eyes as Hanzo engulfed his cock in its entirety, his soft lips easily touching the base of his shaft with his nose grazing his pubic bone.

“Jesus fuckin' Christ.” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hanzo even if he wanted...and he definitely didn’t want to.

Jesse watched avidly as the archer’s head bobbed up and down over his shaft, feeling his tongue twirl and lick along the underside with every move. Not meaning to be arrogant about it, but Jesse knew he was quite large. And the fact that Hanzo was able to take him in this well without so much as gagging whenever the head of his cock hit the back of his throat, was proof that the man has had enough practice in the past.

How _often_ had Hanzo gone down on him like this??!

He was already resentful enough that he had lost his memories. But now, Jesse was nearly furious that he even forgot about the finer details of their relationship…especially things like _this_.

Hanzo began to hum a little as he continued taking in Jesse into his mouth in long languid movements. He looked like he was enjoying himself more than Jesse himself as he took the cowboy’s hands and placed them at the back of his head.

With a very lewd _pop_ , his mouth finally released Jesse’s cock and he looked at him as he gave the tip one final lick. It was already slick with Hanzo’s spit and his own pre.

“Fuck me as you like."

“Fuck you as I…” Jesse looked at him as if not believing his words.

But Hanzo didn’t wait as he took Jesse in once again, and again all the way down to the hilt with experienced ease.

“Fuckkkk…” was all Jesse could say as he did as Hanzo told him to.

Fisting both hands into the archer’s hair—which earned him a rather pleased moan from Hanzo—he bucked his hips into his mouth.

Hanzo kept his eyes on Jesse, his eyes hooded with lust, his mouth hallowed and eager for more with a bit of drool dribbling at the corner, and his fingers scratching his thighs, _demanding_.

And Jesse delivered.

His initial hesitance gone, he began fucking Hanzo’s mouth in earnest now. His hips pushing off the bed completely at the same time he forced Hanzo’s head against him.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot sweetheart, you’re perfect,” he babbled as his breaths became shorter with every thrust.

Hanzo hummed around his cock again which forced a growl out of Jesse. He was already so close.

Jesse was sure he could’ve lasted a couple more strokes into the archer’s hot and wet mouth but when he felt fingers spread the meat of his ass and a finger trace the rim of his hole, he lost all control and he came hard straight into Hanzo’s throat.

He shuddered through his unexpected release as the man between his legs milked him of everything he’s got with nothing but pure gusto on his face as he lapped him up.

His eyes never left Hanzo as the archer gave his now flaccid cock one last swipe of his tongue before finally pulling away, licking his own lips as he went and giving an audible swallow.

Jesse gulped as he looked at him. This man was—no, _is_ —his. Already he could feel his cock twitch at the very thought of what being with Hanzo entailed.

Hanzo leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips and Jesse could only smile goofily against his mouth, not even caring that he could taste himself on the archer’s lips.

They stayed like that for a while, simply sharing chaste kisses and not exchanging any words between them. So, when Hanzo pulled away suddenly and was making to get off the bed, he couldn’t help the disappointment he felt.

Jesse was about to ask him to get back on the mattress and lay with him for a while longer but once again, his words died in his mouth before he could say them out loud as he watched the archer remove his clothes and before Jesse knew it, was already climbing back on top of him, this time, straddling his head with Hanzo’s erect cock right in front of Jesse's face.

“My turn,” he said, so normally, so casually, so _unabashedly,_ one would think he was asking for a piece of pie.

This shocked Jesse but at the same time, it also pleased him. _Very much_ so. More than he would’ve expected it would, like when Hanzo forced out his orgasm after teasing his rim.

“Oh honey, now I’m _really_ lookin’ forward to gettin’ to know you all over again.”

Hanzo smirked at this but it was immediately wiped off his face, only to be replaced by a look of complete contentment as Jesse grabbed him by the ass and, as Hanzo just had, took him fully inside his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when I first wrote this story, I planned on it being more PWP so I could practice writing M/M sex scenes. But then the story kind of came alive on its own. Then I considered just taking out the sex stuff altogether (just leaving all the love-making implied instead) to make an actual decent story of it and not ruin it with my shitty-smut writing. (And there's more coming in the next/final chapter too, just saying.)
> 
> But as you can see, this is neither a PWP fic nor is it tame.
> 
> I dunno what I'm saying anymore...
> 
> Really I'm just hoping this story is still decent/a good read for you guys even after everything I've written in this chapter.
> 
> （⊙﹏☉）


	5. The Future

#### THE DAYS TO COME

“Jesse…give me your cock _…please…_ ”

Honey-brown eyes that had darkened with lust since the pair stumbled into the room some minutes (or was it hours? It certainly felt that long) ago widened as Jesse tore his gaze from Hanzo’s already gaping hole to look at the archer in the eye.

Hanzo was grateful for the attention the cowboy was giving him, making sure he was thoroughly stretched and ready for bigger and _better_ things but he also felt impatient. How long has it been since he’s been properly filled by Jesse? _Too damn long_. At this point, he didn’t even care if his lover tore his ass open trying to shove his massive cock inside him. He just wanted to feel him in his entirety. _Now_.

When Jesse made no move at all to fulfill his request, Hanzo gave an impatient noise and sat up from his former position of being bent on all fours with Jesse kneeling behind him as he thoroughly fucked him with his fingers.

Not giving the cowboy a chance to say anything, he pulled him by the shoulder and forced him back on the bed underneath Hanzo.

“Darlin’, I just don’t wanna hurt—”

“I want to feel you, cowboy. I do not care if it hurts,” Hanzo told him, his tone as urgent as his hands as he pulled down Jesse’s underwear, the only piece of clothing left between the pair of them.

He tossed the fabric over his shoulder and Hanzo deftly grabbed hold of Jesse's thick and pulsating cock. It was hot between his fingers and so ready for him, it was a wonder how he was able to keep himself from simply ramming into Hanzo earlier on.

Jesse let out a loud groan as soon as he felt Hanzo’s hand on him.

“Where do we keep the condoms?” he managed to ask, his voice husky as he stared up at Hanzo who was already beginning to position himself on his lap.

Hanzo tore his gaze from the throbbing appendage underneath him to look at Jesse. At first, he wanted to ask if he was being serious, actually forgetting that Jesse had no memories about how they usually made love. But seeing the serious look on his cowboy’s face as he voiced the question, all he could do was grin devilishly back in response as he grabbed the bottle of lube they’ve been abusing since they came stumbling into the room earlier.

He made a show of pouring a generous amount of the liquid onto his palm and letting it drip over Jesse’s cock before stroking the length of it in slow languid movements, moving his entire body up and down along with every stroke.

Another moan escaped Jesse’s throat and his eyes fluttered to the back of his head.

Hanzo’s smile grew wider as he bent over the gunslinger until his mouth was right next to the shell of his ear.

“We _never_ use condoms,” he informed him in a low tone.

Jesse’s eyes flew open again at those words and he looked at Hanzo.

“We never— _fuckkkkk_ …”

Hanzo’s own satisfied moan mingled with Jesse’s curse as he slowly lowered himself onto the cowboy’s cock and seated himself down to the hilt all at once.

He felt Jesse’s hands, one warm, the other mildly cool, slide up to his hips and giving him a hard squeeze.

“A-Are you okay?”

 _Ever the gentleman,_ Hanzo thought as he looked down at him with as much adoration as he felt.

“Start fucking me like you mean it and I will be,” Hanzo told him as he pressed their lips together for a deep kiss.

Jesse let out a kind of grunting noise and Hanzo felt his hands leave his hips to slide over behind him until they settled over his ass. Fingers dug into his cheeks and pulled them apart at the same time Hanzo lifted himself off of Jesse’s cock.

The same hands pushed him down at the same time Jesse thrusted his hips upwards and Hanzo couldn’t help the loud shout that escaped him as he felt the tip of his lover’s cock reach the deepest parts of him.

“Jesse…Jesse…” he began to say in short gasps as the cowboy began his brutal pace of ramming his cock inside him.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” Jesse whispered as he reached a flesh hand further down until a finger was tracing the rim of Hanzo’s stretched hole while his cock continued to piston in and out of him. “Tell me what I usually do to ya, and I’ll do it. Wanna make you feel good Han…what do you want? How do you usually like it?”

Hanzo let out a high-pitched mewl in response to these words.

“Tell me.”

It took him a few moments but that he actually managed to speak at all was already a miracle for Hanzo. He was feeling way too good. He had missed the feeling of being completely filled by Jesse and had nearly forgotten what it even felt like from not having him for way too long. Not only that but his cock was already hitting his prostate with every deep thrust (the very reason why Hanzo often rode the cowboy; it was one of the positions that just _guaranteed_ it) that there really was little else he could do there to make it feel even more amazing than it already did.

“My chest,” he managed to gasp out, “play with m-my nipples.”

Jesse did as he was told, both hands retreating from Hanzo’s backside which earned him a dissatisfied whimper from the archer before it was replaced by another moan when he felt Jesse tug him upwards until a mouth found its way over one of Hanzo’s sensitive nubs while fingers pinched the other.

“No!” Hanzo practically shouted when he felt  Jesse’s other hand circle around his cock.

Jesse stopped moving altogether and looked up at Hanzo, his face worried that he had done something he shouldn’t have.

Hanzo guided the hand on his cock, back to his ass and pushed his chest back against Jesse’s lips.

“Do not touch me there, I want to come just like this. Just from my ass and my chest. Please.”

This earned him a growl of approval from Jesse who resumed his unrelenting pace of sliding his cock fully into Hanzo before pulling all the way back again, leaving just the tip of his head around the rim of Hanzo’s already abused and dripping hole.

“Yes, yes… Jesse…”

Hanzo didn’t know how long he would last what with Jesse’s incessant thrusts and his swirling tongue and fingers giving ample attention to his tits.

Something that had been coiling at the pit of his stomach was ready to snap.

“I-I am close…”

To his horror, he felt the cowboy slow down in his thrusts which earned him a yank of his hair by Hanzo.

“No, do not let up… I want you to come… inside me,” he ordered fiercely, panting and glaring down at the cowboy whose grip on his ass and the other now around his waist tightened with approval.

Jesse went even faster and his thrusts, harder.

“Jesse!!” Hanzo shouted as he felt teeth clench around one of his nipples.

The over stimulation forced his orgasm out of him.

Strings of white shot out from his own cock and landed all across Jesse’s hairy chest and abs.

Hanzo’s momentary high brought him out of his own mind and he didn’t even feel Jesse ram into him impossibly deeper as the gunslinger too, rode out his own orgasm, Hanzo’s hole milking him as greedily and as thoroughly as his mouth did earlier in the medbay.

With one final jerk of his hips, Jesse’s head fell heavily back against the pillow. A completely defeated yet satisfied look was on his face as he wrapped both of his arms loosely around Hanzo who was still on top of him.

Hanzo made to get off him but Jesse stopped him from doing so, his arms tightening instead.

“Where ya goin’?” he mumbled.

“We have to clean up,” Hanzo sighed quite happily as he slid off Jesse and landed on the mattress next to him.

Jesse twisted around to follow him, stopping his cock from slipping out of the archer.

With a raised brow, Hanzo looked at him pointedly but this only earned him a lazy grin from the cowboy.

“I’m makin’ sure we don’t dirty the bed,” Jesse said rather reasonably. “So I need’ta plug ya up all proper.”

“Hmm…” Hanzo replied, his face more thoughtful now.

“What is it?”

“That’s new.”

“New?”

Hanzo leaned forward to kiss Jesse’s cheek and nip on his earlobe. “The old you usually liked to watch my _gaping_ hole _leak_ and _drip_ with your cum.” He made sure to emphasize each word he knew the taller man liked to hear.

When his confession finally registered, Hanzo felt the cock still inside him twitch and come to life, already beginning to harden and increase in size.

He pulled away to look at Jesse properly.

The cowboy’s mouth was hanging slightly open and his pupils were blown wide again, black, overcoming the sweet honey-brown of his irises.

“Round two?”

* * *

A “long” day didn’t even begin to describe it.

Jesse tore his eyes from the many pictures scattered across the bed in front of him to look at Hanzo who had just stepped into a pair of navy blue boxer briefs and was now shoving his arms through a familiar red and black flannel. _His_ flannel.

The piece of clothing looked much too lose on Hanzo which Jesse hadn’t really noticed that night he came into Hanzo’s room and caught the archer wearing it for the first time. But seeing it now, he quite liked it. Jesse was larger than Hanzo and the flannel was loose on him to begin with to accommodate his prosthetic so it was only expected that it would fit Hanzo even less. The cuffs nearly covered the entirety of his hands, revealing only the tips of his fingers and the hem of the shirt ended just below the curve of his ass cheeks. He looked downright adorable.

“So, how’d you talk me into givin’ up my favorite flannel?” He leaned onto his side and propped his head on his elbow.

Hanzo stopped trying to dry his hair with a towel and turned to him, surprised that the cowboy was already looking at him and not at the photos he had been eagerly looking through since he conceded in letting Jesse see them all (and only because he managed to trick Hanzo into promising to show it all to him later while they were in the middle of _round three…_ Angela won't be happy about it if she finds out but he was technically not _telling_  him anything and Jesse wasn't trying to remember anything either; in the cowboy's words, he was “Just lookin’”).

“I did not talk you into giving it up,” Hanzo said, brows slightly raised as he went to sit on the edge of the bed next to Jesse, carefully avoiding the couple of photos that were out of the box.

“Then how?”

“I stole it,” he confessed, rather plainly and with no hint of guilt at all.

“You…stole it.”

“Yes.”

When Jesse said nothing to this, Hanzo dared to look over his shoulder towards him and he was met with blank eyes.

“Problem?” Hanzo asked as he leaned back against him, allowing Jesse to wrap an arm around his waist.

“Can’t say it is,” Jesse admitted, barely able to restrain a laugh now.

“Thought so,” chuckled Hanzo as he planted a soft kiss on Jesse’s cheek. “Besides, this would make us even.”

Jesse cocked a brow at him.

“You stole my ribbon.”

Hanzo had stolen Jesse’s flannel, knowing full well how much the cowboy liked it. But he was quite sure Jesse knew (or at least found out sometime later) that he had been the thief though they never really spoke about it. If he didn’t, Hanzo was sure he would have tried much harder to hunt down his precious flannel. He only ever wore it whenever he was forced to spend a night away from his cowboy, usually when either of them were on missions. Though if he were the one out on missions, he usually just slept while hugging it rather than actually wearing it. He couldn’t risk having his colleagues see him wearing Jesse’s clothes after all (he was the only one who actually wore flannels so it wouldn’t be a hard guess to make). The teasing wouldn’t stop otherwise.

“I did? Ya didn’t give it to me?” Jesse asked, clearly surprised.

“No. I thought I lost it some time ago. You even gave me this to replace it,” Hanzo said as he reached towards the nearby desk and pulled on the long red cord with the small golden balls on the ends.

Jesse took the cord from Hanzo to look at it. A closer inspection revealed that the gold balls had some weight to it— _Real gold?—_ and they were engraved too. One had a “J” and the other an “M”.

He didn’t know what to say about this. It was clear from this item alone that he had been the possessive sort when it came to Hanzo if he gave the archer such a gift. It wasn’t only made with his favorite color, it was even engraved with his own initials. When he had given the cord, he was obviously marking what was his.

“Err…did you like it when I gave it to you?” he asked, a little cautious.

Hanzo looked at him for a short while before he burst out laughing once more. He turned around and climbed over Jesse, pushing him on his back and seating himself on his lap and resting his chin on his hairy chest.

“I loved it,” he admitted with a smile. "I still do."

What could only be relief revealed itself on Jesse’s face when he said this and he grinned back at Hanzo.

“But, I did not know you had stolen my ribbon though. In fact, I only learned about it when you told me about it earlier today.”

Though he was reprimanding Jesse (sort of) about the theft, he didn’t actually mind it. Sure, he had been very upset when he realized he had lost his precious ribbon at the time but now having learned that it had been Jesse who had taken it, he was actually happy. It touched him that the taller man beneath him had done as he did with his flannel. And he could only guess that Jesse had been using his ribbon for the very same reasons, as a kind of reminder of the person they most cherished. Just like how Jesse kept secret photos of him tucked away in a place that even he didn’t know about.

The very thought made Hanzo’s heart swell and feel even more for Jesse. He already loved the cowboy before, more so than he thought it ever possible for him to. But it somehow only increased ridiculously more in the span of a single day.

“What are ya thinkin’ about?”

Hanzo smiled at him and pressed his lips on his before pulling back with a smile that expressed nothing but his completely adoration for him.

“About how much I love you.”

The reaction he got from these words surprised him.

Jesse looked at him blankly at first, then his eyes widened perceptibly, clearly amazed by the confession. When it finally seemed to sink it, he looked away, apparently unable to look at Hanzo any longer as his tanned cheeks reddened rather significantly. He looked quite flustered at this point.

It was amusing to see as much as it was endearing.

“What is it?”

Clearing his throat, Jesse began rubbing his fingers along Hanzo’s back. “Nothin’…just that you never said ‘I love you’ to me. Not to the _me_ right now, anyway.”

Hanzo thought about this and only then just realized that it was true. Even when Jesse confessed his feelings for him back in the medbay, Hanzo never actually did say the words properly though he was quite sure he relayed the feeling more than adequately with what they've done in the last few hours. He can’t even remember the last time he or Jesse had been _thoroughly_ fucked (in a good way). What they did together and to each other today was a rarity even with how often they sexually satisfied each other in the past.

Somehow, this realization made him self-conscious. Like it actually was the very first time he’s said the words to Jesse when in actuality he’s said the words more than enough in the past. Admittedly, it was always Jesse who said the words to him first, something Hanzo will have to remedy from here on out.

He buried his face against the cowboy’s muscular and hairy chest and nuzzled, prompting strong arms to wrap themselves around him by the waist.

“I love you Jesse McCree,” Hanzo repeated, this time in a lower but even more sincere tone. “Thank you for coming back to me.”

Jesse didn’t say anything in reply to this but judging by the muted sniffing sound he heard some moments later matched with the the slight tremble of the man’s chest underneath him, it wasn’t hard to guess that his words had affected his lover greatly.

He gave him a bit of time to recover before he finally turned his head to look up at him.

Honey-brown eyes were already looking down at him and as expected, the corners of his eyes were wet with recently shed tears. But Jesse was smiling down at him, his happiness transparent on his face.

Jesse tightened his embrace around him as he pulled Hanzo further up over him at the same time he leaned down to plant his lips gently atop the archer’s head. It was a simple gesture that spoke volumes of Jesse’s feelings that Hanzo didn’t even need any sort of verbal reply to his confession.

_Thank you… thank you… thank you…_

* * *

#### EPILOGUE

_“You got it?”_

_Hana grinned up at him and held up the small, flat square box between two fingers high enough to level with his eyes._

_“It was delivered today with the rest of my fan mail,” she announced rather proudly, a smug look on her face._

_A wide grin spread across his face as he wrapped his arms around Hana’s slender waist and easily picked her up._

_Laughing, Hana twisted around in his arms until she found herself secure on his back, legs around his waist with his arms looped around her knees to lock her in place and her arms draped over his broad shoulders, the box still in hand._

_“Open ‘er up and lemme see. Wanna see it first before givin’ it to him.”_

_Hana nodded—though he couldn’t see her do so with her seated behind him—and began to unwrap the box from its plain brown packaging._

_It didn’t take long and in the next minute, Hana had dropped the now empty box to the ground and instead held up the long red cord in front of them._

_He watched as Hana tested the durability of the cord by pulling on it a few times but it didn’t give even a little bit and and this pleased him. Hanzo had always said that he liked his old ribbon for this very reason. It wouldn’t do it if it undid itself when stressed in the middle of a fight after all._

_“Show me the edges,” Jesse instructed with a nod to which Hana pulled on the cord again to bring up the balled ends._

_The gold glinted under the light and he could make out the engraved initials of “J” and “M” on the smooth and shiny metal. The font was rather simple but fancy at the same time._

_Seeing this made his grin wider._

_The quality was better than he expected and it definitely looked like something Hanzo would like and wouldn’t mind wearing everyday to replace his "lost" ribbon._

_“Perfect!” he announced happily to which Hana gave a sound of agreement._

_“Aren’t you glad I showed you that website that sold these?”_

_“Bet’cha I am. And thanks for puttin’ in the order for me too. Can’t trust myself to do it all online.”_

_“No problem-o!” Hana said, still sounding quite pleased with herself. “You owe me though.”_

_“I’m at yer service whenever, squirt,” Jesse said as he jostled Hana on his back, threatening to drop her for a split second._

_Hana gave a surprised squeal at this and her grip around his shoulder tightened for a moment, making Jesse laugh._

_“Jesse McCree!” she scolded loudly, though her voice was half laughing as she began pulling on his hair. “And who are you calling_ ‘ _squirt’??”_

_But all this did was make Jesse laugh even louder._

“Jesse?”

Startled, Jesse's eyes flew open and he lifted his head to the speaker. He didn’t even realize that he had dozed off on the couch with his head resting over the back cushion.

Hanzo was standing before him, looking at him with amusement and Jesse’s eyes zeroed in on the red cord wrapped around his ponytail. The golden balls with his initials were resting on his chest, just over his heart and Jesse couldn’t help but smile at this. Hanzo took to keeping the ends over his chest rather than letting them hang behind him and Jesse wondered if this was on purpose or not. Either way, he liked it. It felt like Hanzo was keeping him close to his heart for some reason—whether consciously or not.

“Hey sugar,” he greeted up at him, pretending that he didn’t just pass out for a moment there. It was nearing one in the morning and they’ve been watching movies and playing video games since dinner with the rest of their friends.

Saturday nights were designated Movie-And-Or-Video-Game Night. They had just watched a classic film a few hours earlier about highly-intelligent apes taking over the world (Jesse forgot the title but it had been Winston’s choice since it was his turn to pick the movie that night) and they’ve been playing a series of games ever since which was spearheaded by Hana and Lúcio…though mostly the former.

It has been two whole months since Jesse and Hanzo had reunited as lovers. Two whole months since he had been told about his missing memories.

Although Jesse’s head wound was fully healed at this point with no more headaches and possible fainting episodes and Angela had since deemed it okay for anyone and everyone to give him all the details he had been eager for, his memories still hadn’t returned.

Not all of them at least. And certainly not all at once.

When Angela gave the A-OK, everyone had been supportive, even eager, to try and fill in the pieces for him in hopes of triggering them back into his brain. But to no avail.

After realizing that simply telling him about what he forgot didn’t do anything, they all agreed on simply letting time take its course and to just let him remember his forgotten memories on his own.

And it worked.

It happened one night, give or take three weeks after his reunion with Hanzo. Jesse had been forcefully woken up from his sleep when he dreamt of Hanzo calling for him, his voice desperate and anguished for him to open his eyes for him and when he did, Jesse saw the relief in his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Jesse remembered it vividly somehow. So vivid it was that he had no doubt that it wasn’t just a dream.

He told Hanzo about it and the archer told him that what he dreamt had actually happened at the time he had gotten his injury.

This was the first memory that came back to Jesse and ever since then, small bits and pieces have come back to him, slowly but surely enough that it relieved not only himself but Hanzo as well, he was sure. Though the archer had always told him it didn't matter if he had his memories or not—he was going to love Jesse no matter what—and that he didn't have to force himself to remember, he knew Hanzo was more than pleased that they were slowly coming back to him.

They didn’t tell anyone about this, not wanting to give anyone any false hope. Besides that, the only memories that had returned to him so far were mostly of Hanzo and most of them weren’t things he should be telling anyone else anyway which is something they’ll surely end up doing should they reveal that he was starting to recall his lost past.

But now…

The memory that came to him now wasn’t of Hanzo, but of Hana. This was the first recalled memory he had that didn’t involve his lover. Not only that, but it gave him an insight of how close he had been with the young mech pilot, something that caught Jesse by surprise.

It wasn’t like his current relationship with Hana was bad. Ever since he got together with Hanzo again, the archer had been vocal about how Jesse should “renew” his relationship with her. Hanzo had told him that they were close with Hana. To be precise, it was Jesse who was really close with her and it was only because of this that Hanzo too had developed the same kind of closeness with the accomplished gamer.

But trying to renew a close relationship with a person he doesn’t even remember was difficult…and Hana didn’t make it any easier on him either. It was hard for Jesse to imagine that such a relationship between them even existed considering how the girl seemed tense, even reluctant, to have anything to do with him. Sure, her attitude towards Jesse was getting better slowly as time passed, but her initial treatment towards him that time he was first released from the medbay still stuck out in his mind.

_“Hana was just as worried as I was when we were told you lost your memories…”_

Those were Hanzo’s words back then and though it was rather hard to believe at the time, now…less so. Even with the little insight he just got into their old relationship, Jesse was already beginning to understand why she acted the way she did when they were “introduced for the first time” again. Hana was clearly not as adept to keeping her feelings and putting on a front as Hanzo had been during their reintroduction.

As if on cue, the girl in question walked up to the couch where he sat with Hanzo now seated next to him.

Hana plopped herself lazily on the empty spot on the other side of Jesse and gave a yawn.

“Tired already?” Hanzo inquired, a brow raised.

“Can’t help it,” she replied with a roll of her eyes before jabbing a thumb towards the other couches across the rec room.

Jesse and Hanzo both turned to look at what she was pointing at and both couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.

Torbjörn was already passed out, his short body fully laying across one couch with Ana on the other end, her head leaning on the arm rest. Reinhardt was next to them, strewn across a couch he somehow managed to occupy all by himself. Jack was on the floor, leaned back against a mountain of cushions clearly asleep near Winston whose legs and arms were sprawled out around him and even twitching a little as he too dozed over his own pile of cushions.

The older crowd was certainly knocked out and the rest of them who weren’t occupied with the game currently projected at the front of the room—just Lúcio, Genji and Lena now since Hanzo and Hana had vacated their spots next to them in front of the screen—were also beginning to tune down in their respective seats. Angela, Fareeha, and Zenyatta were talking in muted voices on one side of the room while Mei and Satya were watching the screen in silence, occasionally exchanging words of conversation between them. Bastion was seated on the floor at their feet, rather quiet as he observed the ongoing game with apparent interest.

“I’d make it up to four in the morning without energy drinks normally but seeing this lot is making me tired. The _old_ ness is contagious,” she said with so much exaggeration that it earned a laugh from Hanzo.

“Let us get back to the game then. I shall show you whose old,” he challenged with a smile at Jesse before getting up and making his way back to his abandoned seat beside his brother.

Giggling, Hana too got up.

When she did, Jesse followed and before she could step away from him, he placed his hand atop of her head, earning him a wondering and even surprised look from her as she looked up at him.

“I’ll join in with you guys this time,” he announced. Jesse had been holding back from the video games ever since he saw the genuinely distressed look on Hana’s face when she tried to teach him how to play Mario Kart some time ago, back when he had only just gotten out of the medbay. He had thought that Hana simply couldn’t be bothered teaching him but now, it was different.

It only took one memory of the pair of them to know this much and to understand her better.

“Will you really?” Hana asked with brows raised.

“I still owe you one after all,” he told her, a smile on his lips as he ruffled her hair a little.

This earned him a confused look at first and Jesse tore his gaze from her to look over at Hanzo whose back was turned to them, a gaming controller already in hand.

Hana followed his gaze towards Hanzo’s back, still not fully understanding what he was saying.

“I did tell you I’m at yer service whenever,” Jesse added as he looked to her again and gave her a little wink.

Hana’s eyes widened at this as she realized what he was saying and what it meant.

“I’m sorry for forgetting, squirt.”

Jesse’s nickname for her that they both knew Hana both loved and hated caused tears to instantly well up in her large, bright brown eyes.

“You…” was all she could say as she continued looking at Jesse, her expression one of disbelief as it was of relief at the same time.

Seeing her look like this broke Jesse’s heart and he didn’t even have it in him to tell her that he didn’t remember her completely just yet.

Instead, Jesse pulled her into a hug.

Hana sniffled against his chest as she hugged him back tightly.

It took her a while to recover from her sudden burst of emotions but when she did, she pulled away and looked up at Jesse with a little pout. Her eyes were already a little puffy but they somehow sparkled more than they ever had as of late, easily reflecting her happiness.

“You playing games with me doesn’t mean we’re even though. You’ll _still_ owe me even after I beat your ass in _Super Smash Brothers_. Just setting that straight right now.” She said this rather petulantly that it earned er a howl of laughter from Jesse who couldn’t help messing her hair up even more.

Only when his laughter died down did they notice the silence in the room. They hadn’t realized the game, which had been the main source of noise this entire time, had gone quiet.

The pair turned to the front of the room and saw everyone who wasn’t already asleep, looking back at the pair of them. The screen showing the game was frozen with the words "PAUSE" displayed in the middle.

Hana removed herself from Jesse though kept one hand holding onto the sleeve of his plaid shirt before shooting them all a scowl though it lacked any real conviction.

“What?” she demanded as she hastily wiped what tears were left on her cheeks. “Can’t a girl cry without it being weird?”

They all stared at her.

“Y’know, I always wondered why you never liked crying in front of people,” Lena pointed out rather loudly as she stood up slowly from her seat before appearing right in front of Hana in a flash. She looked at Hana, scrutinizing her as she leaned forward even closer. “Look at those eyes! You look _just_ like a pufferfish, luv. It’s almost impressive.”

Without warning, Hana swiped an arm towards Lena but it didn’t matter how fast she was. Lena was already across the room, sitting on the back of the couch Mei and Satya were occupying, laughing loudly.

“Come back here! I’ll show you who looks like a pufferfish when I’m done with you!” Hana shouted as she ran towards her.

Joining in with everyone else’s laughter—and wondering how they hadn’t woken up the rest who were (impressively enough) still snoozing with all the noise they were making—Jesse looked over towards Hanzo who was already looking at him.

Jesse ginned at him and gave him a wink to which the archer responded with an amused look.

He mouthed an “I love you” towards him and had only managed to catch the mouthed “I love you too” from Hanzo before Hana slammed into Jesse and knocked him back onto the couch. He could hear Lena giggling from his other side and saw her already casually sitting on the couch he and Hana were on, her legs draped almost lazily over the arm rest.

“Fight me like a man!” Hana demanded, a fist raised in the air as she tried to wriggle away from Jesse.

Seeing no end to this chase, Jesse kept her in place by wrapping a single arm around her tiny waist.

“Jesse, lemme go! Lemme fight her!”

Jesse chuckled but didn’t listen to her. Instead, he stood back up and carried her with him with little effort before throwing her unceremoniously over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, earning him a squeal of surprise and laughter from the rest of the group.

“You can fight ‘er in _Super Smash Brothers,_ ” he told her placatingly as he walked over to the front of the room. “I’ll even team up with ya.”

“Aww…but you suck though!”

This earned even more laughter from the others and Jesse couldn’t help but laugh along with them.

####  THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Hanzo's lost ribbon…
> 
> Jesse had stolen it and when Hanzo asked him if he had seen it anywhere, he told the archer he didn't. This upset Hanzo in a way Jesse didn't expect it would. He had thought it was just like a regular accessory for him and that he could simply use another (he knows Hanzo has spares in different colors) only to be told that Hanzo actually cherished the gold one, it being his oldest one and claiming it was the sturdiest of all the others he owned.
> 
> Feeling guilty, Jesse didn't have the heart (or guts) to tell Hanzo that he was the one who had taken it. Hana catches him looking through catalogs in the common room one day while Hanzo was out on an assignment, searching for a new ribbon he can get for the archer and she ends up helping him. One of her fans who follow her on social media recommended the website where the red cord was sold—Hana had posted online for help/suggestions on the matter, much to Jesse's embarrassment.
> 
> * * *
> 
> And that's it!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented, liked (/kudos-ed?), bookmarked, and subscribed to this story. I'm glad you stuck around up until the end. I know this story isn't the best and could definitely have been better but I tried. Especially the sex stuff. Ugh. I'm so bad at it. I really don't know how others do it. I'm just BAD with writing detailed sex scenes. I feel like whatever I write isn't really satisfying to read at all. Or maybe it's because I'm writing it rather than reading it? I don't know. Either way, I know I can do with more improvement.
> 
> That said, I'll be seeing you guys around AO3.
> 
> I said in the first chapter that this story was a trial-run of sorts too see whether or not I'm actually decent enough to write an Overwatch _and_ M/M fic (since this is my first story for both categories; that should also partially explain my mediocre M/M smut writing). And what with the positive feedback I received for this story, I'm now inspired to keep writing more. I plan on posting more fics in the future (I'm in the middle of one right now actually and it should be up within a week) so if you're interested in reading more of my work, do keep a look out!
> 
> Once again, thank you all for reading!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ♥


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